Sweet Nothings
by XTsukimiOdangoX
Summary: When Shindou moves in, Eiri sees the boy in a whole new light. Will he be able to confess his true feelings? Or will the attack by Aizawa get in the way? short stories
1. Sweet Confessions

**Author's notes**: So, uh, yeah, another story. I think out of the twelve stories I have, only four are finished. Oh well. This one, however, IS finished, because it's a one-parter. And I mean it this time! Eeeee! My love for Gravitation is only surpassed by my love for Heaven's Flames. Hehe. ^_^ Enjoy!

**_Sweet Nothings_**

**_Chapter 1:_**

**_Sweet Confessions_**

Yuki Eiri's eye ticked visibly. Gold irises flickered in slight confusion as a single bead of sweat dripped down his temple. His brow creased further, marring the skin between his eyes in deep folds. He chewed on the inside of his cheek thoughtfully, trying to decipher what exactly the small pink-haired boy was doing. _This can't be good._

            Shindou Shuichi was never one to be discrete. There he stood, in all his boyish glory: dyed-pink hair tousled from his trek up the stairs, violet eyes shimmering with something akin to determination and mirth, a droopy navy sweatshirt he had stolen from Eiri hanging over his shoulders, and khaki shorts. The most unnerving visual, however, was the excessively enormous sack Shindou had tied around his neck and hefted over his back.

            Eiri took in what contents were sticking out of the sack with his peripheral vision. The novelist decided it best not to take his eyes away from the violet ones peering back at him. He noted a keyboard, coffee mug, and numerous articles of clothing poking out among other things that were incomprehensible in all the clutter.

            The corner of Shindou's lip twitched the slightest. The two men had been at a stalemate for a good two minutes now. After Shindou had come charging through the door of Eiri's apartment with his bag of goodies, neither had moved. The golden haired man stood stock-still, poker-face evident, trying to take the whole picture in. However, Shindou was, Eiri noticed contentedly, beginning to crack.

            _Just a few more moments of this and—_

            "Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!!" 

            _Sweet Lord._

            The next thing Eiri knew he was being pounced on by the small singer with a bag twice his size. The sharp novelist side-stepped the lunge masterfully, sending the attacker to his demise on the floor. Eiri's eyes slid emotionlessly to the heap on the floor: Shindou buried under his massive belongings, only a few fingers and his rear visible. Eiri bit back the unexpected urge to laugh.

            "What the bloody hell are you doing, brat?" Eiri snapped defensively, trying to make-up for the unnoticed amusement. 

            Shindou wriggled free from under the colossal mound of belongings. His grin was still plastered from ear to ear. He managed to sit back on his hind legs on top of the mountain of his property. His eyes sparkled up at Eiri in adoration. The novelist faltered slightly. 

            "Well?"

            Shindou's smile turned into the most endearing pout Eiri had ever seen. He felt his heart jump. The small boy leaned forward, eyes never leaving his lover's.

            "I was thinking that…"

            Eiri swallowed hard.

            "I could use your office," Shindou chirped, suddenly leaving eye-lock with Eiri and digging through his belongings, "when you're not in there for playing my keyboard!" He pushed the large piece of equipment towards Eiri's feet for good measure. The older man's eye ticked again. "And I brought my own coffee mug so I don't have to use yours anymore…" Shindou pulled out each item as he named it. "I brought my own clothes, even though borrowing yours is much more fun." Eiri noticed a small blush creep up on both of their cheeks as Shindou snuggled deeper into the sweatshirt. "Let's see… What else… Oh!  A toothbrush… and a comb… and some hair-dye for next month, although the devils-halo thing does look cool… Hmmm…" Shindou absent-mindedly swung his toothbrush around in his left hand as he dug through the pile with his right. He blinked as he felt the phallic-object tear itself from his grasp. 

            "If," Eiri began, biting out each syllable, throwing the toothbrush he took from Shindou against the wall, "you think you're moving in here, you are _sadly mistaken."_

            Eiri found his lover's body up against his in a matter of milliseconds. Shindou's hands were against his shoulders causing random body parts of theirs to graze each other. Shindou was staring up at the older man with swimming pools of lavender. His eyebrows knitted themselves together with worry. Rose lips parted in a plea of protest. 

            "Don't even start," Eiri growled. _If you do, I won't be able to say no… _ 

            "But—!"

            Eiri sucked in a deep breath. "Get out and take your shit with you." A pang of guilt stabbed at his lungs. _God! Why does that hurt so much to say?!_

            "Yuki…" The said man's stomach jolted as the small boy whined his name in only a way he knew how. Why was it only that dreaded name sounded good when it was from his lips? "Yuki, please…"

            Eiri felt his fists involuntarily clenching. His chest was becoming tight. _Letting him move in wouldn't be that bad… would it? Eiri stopped himself, trying to cover the look of horror that was attempting to cross his features. _What the hell am I thinking?!__

            The next thing Shindou knew he was being picked up by the lapels of Eiri's shirt and booted right out the door, bag of crap and all. 

            "Oof!" Shindou whimpered lightly as he landed butt first on the cool, hardwood floor of the hallway that Eiri's apartment resided in. The young man jumped back up as quickly as he fell, determined to make his lover see it his way.

            Eiri noted how quickly the singer had recovered, much to the novelist's demise. The only reasonable thought that crossed through Eiri's mind - mixed in with dousing the smaller boy in propane and then lighting him on fire - was to close the door as quickly as possible.

            Eiri heaved a long breath of relief as the door began to swing close. Only a few more inches and he could lock the bolt and throw away the key. He felt a pull of resistance against his hand leading the doorknob along.

            _What the?_

            Eiri tugged harder, emitting an "Ow ow ow ow ow ow!" from the other side of the door. The honey-haired man blinked. He looked down in bewilderment to see a sneaker lodged between the door and the doorframe. No, not just a sneaker… Shindou's foot. Eiri could nearly feel his veins ticking in his forehead. 

            "Get out, you brat!" Eiri hollered, yanking on the door now with both hands.

            "Oooooowwww!!" Shindou cried. He propped his other leg up against the door and wrapped his hands around the doorknob on his side. He pulled feebly, unable to see well behind the tears welling up in his eyes. "Let me in, Yuki!!"

            "No!" Eiri roared, much more menacingly this time. "You are _not moving in! I don't want you to, and you shouldn't want to either!"_

            Eiri watched as a wave of perplexity washed over Shindou's face between the crack in the door-opening. "What…?" he began slowly. The smaller boy suddenly blinked back to life. He tugged on the door with all his might. "Why the hell wouldn't I want to move in with you?!" he cried, eyes closed in determination, tears threatening to leak out.

            "Why _would you?!" Eiri countered defensively. He gave the door one last good tug. He could feel Shindou whimper deep in his throat as his foot twisted painfully to the side. Eiri felt another unexpected stab of guilt._

            "I just want to be with you!!"

            Eiri reeled. He felt his body go limp, causing his hands to slip from the doorknob. He staggered back a few steps. _He… why would he want...?_ Eiri couldn't comprehend how this small boy wanted to be close to him so badly. Didn't he hear Eiri whenever the novelist decided to make fun of him?! Didn't he care?!

            Eiri barely even saw what was happening, even though his eyes were wide open. He watched with blind eyes as the door swung open and his lover pounced. He felt the familiar weight of this boy throwing himself upon Eiri. He felt his arms instinctively wrap around the pink-haired boy's waist. And he felt himself falling backwards.

            The thing that woke Eiri up, however, was the sick thud as his head made contact with the hard tiled floor. 

            After the initial burst of white light and then abnormal blotches of muted colors, Eiri was able to see again. He pried golden-eyes open to be met with a slightly unnerving sight. 

            Eiri lay sprawled out on his back, legs spread wide, arms thrown about in disarray. He felt the near-comfortable weight on his hips of his lover straddling him. Shindou was sitting up now, leaning back on Eiri's lap, hands against the novelist's chest. Eiri bit back a groan. Had his head not been throbbing right now this situation could lead to something far unsuitable for the hallway.

            Eiri's eyes began to focus. He didn't even notice the ringing in his ears until it slowly died away. He watched violet eyes awash with worry and pink lips mouthing words he couldn't quite hear yet. 

            "…orry!"

            "Mmmph?" Eiri grumbled, instead of actually being able to speak.

            "I'm sorry!" Shindou cried. Eiri noted - whether this was a good thing or a bad thing he didn't know - that he could hear again. "Are you OK?!" 

            Eiri forced back down another small moan as Shindou's hands slip themselves up from their place on his lower chest and all the way up, never leaving his body once. The hands found themselves on Eiri's face. Nimble fingers brushed away stray locks of golden hair and gently began rubbing soar temples. Eiri felt a small purr emanate from his throat. 

            "Yuki…?" The novelist watched as Shindou's eyes became tear-clouded again. "Yuki, please say something! Are you all right?"

            Eiri managed another grumble and an irritated nod. He didn't like lying on his back to begin with, but now, with his lover straddling him and all these carefully hidden emotions bubbling up, he liked it even less. 

            Eiri felt Shindou heave a sigh. "I'm so sorry, Yuki!" His face creased with concern. "I just… I don't want you to be mad…" Shindou paused. "I just want to be with you…"            

            Eiri's heart flipped. There it was again. _He wants to be with me…_ He felt a surge of an unwelcomed happiness.  _Would it hurt me any to have him move in? Would it hurt the both of us?_ Even though Eiri would never admit it out loud, he did have enough humility to admit it to himself that the last thing Eiri ever wanted to do was to hurt Shindou. _This is why he shouldn't move in… But, with the small boy still straddling him, eyes wavering with anxiety, how could Eiri say no? The poor thing was still profusely apologizing.  _

            "Yuki, I—"

            Eiri reached a hand up to Shindou's face, effectively silencing the copious requests for forgiveness. He watched Shindou's eyes widen the slightest as his fingertips brushed the smaller boy's cheek. The skin was hot and flushed. 

            "Be quiet," Eiri whispered, even though both had stopped talking moments ago. He swallowed with mild difficulty. _This is safe, right?_

            Eiri's heart hammered annoyingly as he began to sit up. Shindou's weight was pushed farther down Eiri's legs, leaving the previous area cold with room-temperature. He nearly sighed contentedly as Shindou's semi-labored breaths brushed his face as he drew closer. His hand slipped back to cradle the back of Shindou's neck. His other hand reached out for his lover's that lay abandoned on the floor. Eiri placed his larger hand over the smaller one and both men felt a small chill run through them. 

            _How is it a simple movement of bodies can make someone feel this way?_

            Every action leading up to this moment was to get Eiri back in control. The singer had been making Eiri's body writhe inside for too long. He needed to grasp the reigns once more. However, these intimate movements were shaking him to the core as well. 

            Eiri felt relaxed for the first time in months as his lips brushed tantalizingly close over Shindou's. The small boy's eyelids grew heavy as Eiri leaned in farther, sealing their lips together. This was turf he could deal with. Eiri had been told many times what an amazing kisser he was, always leaving the person begging for more. The way he saw it, even though he was nearly trembling with harbored passion, he could still make Shindou shiver more.

            Just as Eiri felt the heat in the pit of his stomach begin to burn stronger he knew that he should pull away. _Just one more second…_ He softly nibbled on Shindou's bottom lip, causing the boy to whimper and push himself forward. _Gets him every time._

Eiri's action of breaking the kiss caused both men to be deeply disappointed. As far as Eiri was concerned, there was no such thing as a chaste kiss, at least not for lovers anyway. He had never broken a kiss without having a hunger for more. And it was that starvation that had the novelist clenching his jaw. 

            "A week," he breathed out, face only millimeters from Shindou's. He watched as the boy's eyes slowly began to open, his lavender pools full of disappointment.

            "Mmmr?" Shindou mumbled incoherently. His eyes were clouded. Eiri noted that by the look in his lover's eye his head must be spinning, too.

            "A week," Eiri repeated, leaning back. This was getting out of hand for the moment. "You can stay for a week. I'll give you a definite verdict from there."

            The golden-haired man watched with a hint of amusement as all disorientation left the younger boy's eyes. Shindou's face lit up like no other and a swelling in Eiri could only be placed to one word: pride.

            "Really?!" the singer squeaked. He grabbed the lapels of Eiri's shirt and pulled them nose to nose. 

A ghost of a smile crossed Eiri's lips. He nodded. The boy squealed happily. The feeling of delight in Eiri continued to swell up. To know that he was the one to make this boy so happy was something indescribable, even for the writer. 

"Yuki!!" Shindou cried. "You're the most amazing man in the world!!" 

Eiri raised a manicured eyebrow as Shindou threw his arms out, professing his undying love for the older man. 

Shindou found himself diving into the hard tile-floor once more as his lover briskly stood and began to walk away.  

"Don't push your luck," Eiri called over his shoulder as his closed the door to his office behind him.

When Eiri had walked out of his office earlier he saw a pink blur go running by in the direction he came. He shook it off and continued in his voyeur to the kitchen. Upon pouring his coffee Eiri noticed a mug with a highly deformed drawing of the mangaka Murakami Maki on it. Despite the oddity that was Shindou's mug, it was almost endearing.

However, that warm fuzzy feeling that Eiri hadn't felt in years quickly dissipated after walking back into his office, near-empty coffee mug in hand. Eiri stood in the doorway of his workspace, watching the sight before him with mild enjoyment and slight annoyance.

Shindou was bent over at the waist, fumbling with cords that were attached to the blasted equipment he liked to call "Lucy." Eiri preferred not to ask. Lucy was all hooked up in the corner of the office, keyboard, equalizer, computer, you name it. That was the annoyance. The pleasure-filled view, however, was the sight of Shindou's little rump up in the air.

Eiri smirked.

"What are you doing _now, brat?" he grumbled, trying to replace the overwhelming desirability with aggravation._

Shindou spun around quickly, erecting himself full-stance, to Eiri's chagrin. He smiled sheepishly.

"I was just hooking up Lucy." Shindou's eyes glanced beside him to the set-up and then back to Eiri.

"When the hell did I say you could hook that shit up in here?" Eiri demanded, stomping over to his desk deliberately. The pseudo-anger in his footsteps was lost in the plush carpet. He absent-mindedly noticed he was trying to hard. 

"But," the pink-haired singer began; face desperate, "I mentioned it before!"

"Did I agree?" Eiri countered. Shindou knew he was cornered.

"I have no other place for it," the boy whined, trying anything to persuade his lover.

"Put it out on the goddamn balcony," Eiri huffed. "I don't care if you piss off the neighbors. It's you who'll have to deal with them."

"But, Yuki!"

Eiri nearly cringed. The boy had such magnetism over him…

"I can plug headphones in. You'll never know I'm here!"

"All the more reason for you to take it outside." Eiri patted himself on the back. He loved his sharp mind.

Shindou's eyes darted around in anxiety in hopes of finding some kind of clue to keep Lucy _inside. His eyes brightened significantly._

"She's too big!" he cried triumphantly, holding out and extended finger heavenward for good measure. "She'd never fit on the balcony!"

_Two minutes_,Eiri mused, turning off the mental stopwatch he had going to see how long it would take the singer to realize that fact.

"Fine," the blonde concurred. He drifted over to where Lucy was currently stationed. "But I don't want it in this corner." Eiri leaned forward just the slightest to undo all the damage that had been done. 

As Eiri worked he could practically feel Shindou's grin burning into his back. The smallest things made that boy so happy…

Eiri stopped short from untangling wires that didn't have the right to be tangled considering they had only been put together a few minutes ago. His stomach leapt as he felt his lover's arms snake their way across his waist. He felt his grip on the wires loosening as the younger man pushed forward, plastering his body along the length of Eiri's. Just as he began to tighten his grip on the cables so as to not drop them, he felt Shindou lean up. The boy pressed his hips against Eiri causing the novelist to let out a harsh breath he never even realized he was holding. The fine hairs on the back of his neck and on his arms stood up straight. The boy trembled slightly against his back. Eiri's whole body tensed, causing him to drop the wires, as Shindou did something so devious Eiri could barely even fathom it: he nipped at the older man's ear. All the heat in Eiri's body rushed to his groin. He jumped in shock.

Eiri wheeled around. "Don't do that!" he hollered, face pale. He clutched at the offended ear, inwardly wincing at the tightness of his pants. 

Shindou giggled deviously. "Why not?" he purred, leaning in. "You know you like it." Eiri groaned as he felt Shindou's leg press up in-between his own.

Eiri was two actions away from losing all control: One – Shindou pressing his leg any harder, or Two – Shindou pressing something _else_ against the writer.

Shindou went for option two.

Eiri feigned ignorance as he slipped his shirt back on. He could feel Shindou's stare on him, but decided it best not to notice. Eiri knew what he would see if he looked over anyway. There Shindou would be sitting, the blankets pooled around his waist just enough to keep him covered, and just enough for Eiri want to get back in bed. And, of course, there would be the pout.

"You're so unromantic, Yuki."

Eiri sighed. How many times had he been told that by others? Although it was the first time Shindou had ever said it, Eiri knew the deal. 

The novelist turned his head back to his lover. "I have work to do," he grumbled as nicely as possible. "I nev—" Eiri caught his breath.

True, his envision of how Shindou would look with the blankets was accurate, but for some reason it caught him off guard. Eiri had never seen such a sight in his life. Seeing something so cute as such a turn-on had to be illegal. Had Eiri not just finished with his business he would have been on the younger boy in an instant. However, even if he wanted to, he didn't think he'd be able to.

Eiri felt his heart melt, and it scared him. 

"Yuki?" Shindou called. He titled his head to the side. 

Eiri cleared his throat and shook his head. He was suddenly seeing everything about Shindou in a whole new light… 

"You always get dressed right after we're done," the younger man pointed out with disappointment."

Eiri's softened stare turned hard. "What the hell do you want me to do? Cuddle with you?" 

The novelist sighed when the boy nodded.

It used to be so easy when Eiri pretended to be callous towards the boy. But now… now it hurt.

"Next time."

Shindou blinked. Eiri could tell that it wasn't the answer he was expecting.

The older man walked over to the bed and placed a small kiss on his lover's forehead. "Next time," he repeated, lips still against Shindou's forehead. 

Shindou craned his head up and met noses with Eiri. "Really?" he cooed happily. Eiri nodded. A warm smile graced the writer's relaxed features. Shindou giggled. "You're the greatest, Yuki."

Eiri winked and stood up straight. Being nice to the boy did have its perks. Not only was he less annoying at times, but he was better in bed, too. However, being too nice was going to get one of them in trouble, if not both…

Eiri was about to close the door to the bedroom behind him when the thought hit him. _I'm going to break his heart…_

"Oh," Eiri added reluctantly, turning his head back to the boy in his bed. "You're sleeping on the couch." He closed the door behind him.

"YUKI!" 

Eiri leaned back in his chair and linked his fingers together. He stretched his arms out in front of him and winced at the aches and cracks. He tossed his head from side to side and vowed that once he finished his manuscript he'd get himself a hard earned massage.

"Hey, handsome."

Eiri started. He looked to the door of his office to see his lover leaning against the frame. He was wearing only a towel.

Shindou waved playfully and stepped further into the office. "I saw you were taking a break… am I bothering you?"

Eiri was surprised to see the small boy actually cared. It was a relief to have someone around, even if it was a distraction. But Eiri would never admit that he liked the singers company.

The novelist sighed and ruefully rubbed his neck. "No, it's ok." He stared at the computer screen with disdain. "I'm starting up again in a few minutes though."

Shindou was behind him now. He mumbled a small affirmative as he slipped his hands onto his lover's shoulders and squeezed lightly. Eiri tensed.

The sound of the younger boy's giggle was actually relaxing. His promises that he wouldn't hurt Eiri, however, were lost.

"Why do you have a towel on?" Eiri questioned, trying to change the subject. If there was one person he did _not want massaging him, it was Shindou._

The pink-haired boy stalled a moment, as if he forgot. "Oh, right!" Eiri felt the weight of Shindou leaning down as he kissed the writer's head. "I'm gonna go take a shower."

Eiri sighed gratefully. He nodded, fishing into his pant pocket and retrieved a pack of cigarettes. Popping one into his mouth he mumbled a "have fun" to the boy.

Shindou stepped to Eiri's side, a frown on his lips.

_It doesn't suit him_.

"Those are bad for you, you know," the boy reprimanded as Eiri lit the cigarette.

Eiri glared. "You sound like Mika. And that's not the face I want to see when we're having sex."

Shindou giggled. Eiri wondered how he found amusement in everything. His lover bit down his mirth and tried to look serious again.

"It's true though," the singer continued. He turned around, clinging onto his towel, reaching the doorway thoughtfully. "They're cancer sticks!" 

Just as Shindou turned for one last glance at his lover before he left, Eiri deliberately puffed a ring of smoke in his direction. 

Shindou's reaction, however, was not what Eiri expected. Instead of getting angry or whining generously, he smiled. But the part that unnerved Eiri the most was that it was a sad smile. The boy's brow was creased and his eyes were shrouded with a thin mist. Eiri could tell he was thinking about losing him to cancer. It made his heart ache.

"What am I going to do with you?" the boy asked, voice wavering with buried emotion. 

Eiri stared unswervingly, even after Shindou had left. Suddenly the weight of the cigarette seemed heavier then normal and his tongue burned. For some reason the only thought that came into Eiri's mind was: _I'm not living for myself anymore._

The novelist put out his cigarette and continued working, occupying himself with the keys to help him disregard the nicotine craving.

Eiri woke with a start. He looked about frantically to take in his surroundings. He sat up quickly, realizing he had dozed off in his office. His eyes turned to the dancing default screensaver that came with his computer. He watched the little Windows flag wave by in different variations, trying to remember when he had fallen asleep and what had woken him up. 

The blaring of the blow dryer helped cue Eiri in. He must have nodded off after Shindou got into the shower. Checking his watch he noted that he was only asleep for about fifteen minutes. _The blow dryer must have woken me up…_

Eiri tapped on a key at the computer, awaking it from its slumber as well. He silently prayed Shindou hadn't seen him. The last thing he needed was to be thought of as a slacker. 

Eiri reached into his pant pocket and pulled out a cigarette. Just as he put the phallic-object in his mouth he remembered the conversation he had with a certain someone less then a half an hour ago. The offending object was back in his pocket in moments.

Eiri stared at his screen with a hard gaze. His eyes kept reading over what was previously written. The blinking text cursor was a constant bludgeon that he had far more work to do and no inspiration to do it.

The novelist was so drawn into his work and what to do next he didn't even notice when the blow dryer was turned off. He did, however, hear the boy he now shared his apartment with come walking across the hall. And he did hear his boyish cry.

"Yuuuuuu—!"

Eiri's ears perked up – not from the call, but from it being stopped short. He pretended to type. He strained his ears over the clanking of the keyboard, typing random gibberish, in order to hear what Shindou was doing. He heard the soft thud of the pink-haired man leaning against the wall. And heard the quite "good night, Yuki" that followed.

His hands froze. That was it, just a whispered wish for sleeping well? What happened to the pouncing? What happened to the screaming of his name like a war cry? What happened to the straddling of laps and Shindou kissing him every where on his face _but on the mouth just to torture him? Where had all the annoyances gone?_

_No, they weren't annoyances…_

Pretending for all these weeks that the boy was a pest was infiltrating Eiri's true thoughts. Sure he was loud and obnoxious at times, but the novelist wanted nothing more then to be with the little runt.

Not that he'd ever _tell Shindou that._

The puzzlement was eating Eiri alive. Since when did Shindou care about whether he was interrupting Eiri or not?

The endearment of the whole situation gave Eiri serious indigestion. 

Golden-irises glared dangerously unblinkingly. Eiri could feel the dryness of his eyes greatening. It felt like there were needles penetrating into his sockets. 

            This was one staring contest Eiri would never win.

            Blinking stubbornly, the novelist leaned back in his chair. He frowned at the computer screen. The text cursor blinked back mockingly, as if saying: _That's the fourth time you've lost, loser._

Eiri scrubbed his hands over tired eyes and sighed heavily. It had been a little over an hour since Shindou had gone to bed and Eiri hadn't been able to stop thinking of him since. 

And it wasn't helping the writer's block, either.

Eiri remembered being told in college that there's no such thing as writer's block. "It's merely a fabrication of the mind," his professor had lectured. "Writer's block is just a poor excuse for either A.) lazy people, or B.) preoccupied people. It's a lack of inspiration, true, but solving this so called "block" is simple. Where'd you get all of your other inspiration from? Get off your lazy ass, go there, and get everything else out of your mind. Boom. Inspiration hits."

Eiri groaned, remembering. _My inspiration? he mused sourly. __I don't have any one specific thing for inspiration._

The part about being preoccupied banged on his skull as his knocking and asking for entrance. Eiri didn't allow it, but the thought came in anyway. 

He was preoccupied with thinking about his lover…

The writer's eyes slid to the doorway wistfully. Maybe if he just stepped out to check on Shindou for a minute then he could get the boy out of his mind.

Eiri felt a shiver go up his spine at the idea of how much he was caring.

Moments later the golden-haired man found himself turning the corner of the hallway into the living room. He mentally berated himself the whole way.

_I should be doing work! Not checking up on this brat!_ But, Eiri deliberately pushed aside, Shindou was the reason he wasn't getting any work done in the first place. And that scared him.

_I'm caring too much…_

As Eiri stepped to the foot of the couch his breath caught in his throat at the sight before him. Shindou was lying on his back, legs crossed over one another haphazardly, and one arm strewn up over his head. He was wearing a pair of boxers that were hiked up from his previous rolling about, and a loose tank top. His other hand was lying across his bare stomach, seeing as how the shirt was rolled up to his breastbone. The dim moonlight shimmering in through the balcony adjacent to the couch, highlighting the sleeping boy's skin breathtakingly. 

A wave of sudden sadness washed over Eiri. He reached out on reflex, seizing the sheet that had fallen to the floor somewhere along the lines. Picking the linen up he began to place it back on the half-naked boy. Eiri hastily pulled away when Shindou mumbled something incoherent in his sleep. The novelist's heart pounded painfully against his ribcage like a bird trying to get away.

The realization was hitting Eiri like a ton of bricks. He really _was_ caring too much. The sadness came again. He was getting in too deep. This wouldn't end well.

"Shuichi…"

Eiri hadn't even noticed the word had left his lips until Shindou mumbled something in response and rolled to the side slightly. The older man blinked. He took a shaky step forward. 

_That's the first time I've ever called him by his name._

"Shuichi…" Eiri whispered again, relishing in the feeling of the soft syllables in his mouth. He kneeled down on the floor by Shindou's head. The boy mumbled something again. Eiri hesitated. "Do you love me?" he managed unsurely.

Shindou rolled over fully now, facing Eiri, eyes still closed. "Mmhmm," he hummed softly. A small trace of a smile graced his lips. 

Eiri felt a lump rising in his throat. This was the feeling he was afraid of. This was the feeling that made him vow to himself he would never be close to someone again. This was feeling he had when he was sixteen.

"Shuichi…?" the novelist croaked out, voice wavering. His meticulously buried emotions were now spilling forth like a dam breaking open. His head was throbbing.

"Hmm?" the half-asleep singer responded, curling up.

Eiri's brow creased in half angst, half anger. He bit down his tongue harshly. He could say it right now, it would be so easy. He could let it all out and then he would feel better. Shindou was still partially asleep, so he probably wouldn't even remember…

Eiri's gaze hardened on the boy. _No. This is bullshit. Eiri stood up briskly. If he said it, it'd be like giving up. And Yuki Eiri was no quitter. He didn't lock himself inside for all these years so one stupid brat could come along and ruin it all. _

Eiri would never admit it. At least not to Shindou.

The novelist swiftly left the room and back into his office. He collapsed into his chair and choked softly. 

_One week_. _After that I'll tell him to leave._

            With newfound resolve Eiri opened a new file on his computer. The ideas were flooding into his head so fast his mind was drowning.

            Eiri stayed awake the whole night, typing every idea that poured into his mind. It was the perfect way to get his lover out of his head. He never even realized that all the inspiration had come from that boy.

            And he never realized that the whole story was indirectly about Shindou Shuichi. 

            Six months later Eiri slipped the key into the lock of his recently bought apartment. Swinging the door open, the novelist stepped inside. 

            The apartment was dark. Usually this late at night Eiri would just slip into bed, clothes and all, and sleep the night away. Tonight, however, was different.

            Eiri slipped off his coat and flipped on the light. The apartment was awash in a bright yellow, making Eiri falter slightly. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to adjust. When Eiri opened his eyes again he sighed heavily. 

_Shuichi isn't home yet._

He trudged weakly and collapsed on the couch. It had been a long day, and, Eiri thought sourly, probably an even longer day tomorrow. 

_When Tohma and Mika find out I came back home they'll slaughter me._

The golden-haired man leaned his head back against the couch. He resolved not to close his eyes; otherwise he knew he would fall asleep, and he had promised Shindou that he'd be at the door to greet him when he came home. Apparently the nap on the plane ride home from New York wasn't enough. 

He checked his watch tiredly, blinking hard to make out the numbers. It was one in the morning. Eiri counted in his head slowly. _Six more hours until Shuichi comes home from the tour._

His mind slowly drifted back to the previous night's events. When his lover had come bursting through the door of that rundown building in New York Eiri was beyond all means of shocked.

_            That's the third time my attempts at walking out on him have failed me._

            Eiri thought back to when he had promised himself all those times that "this will be the final night Shu-chan and I stay together". And every time he couldn't go through with it. 

            The writer smiled. He was glad. He could now easily say he loved the boy and not care. They had gone through enough tribulations to get this far, and all it did was make the signer more determined. Now it was Eiri's turn to be indomitable. This was the final test.

            Sinking lower into the couch, Eiri sighed languorously.

            _Six more hours, Eiri reminded himself. __And then I can tell him how much I love him. _

**Author's Notes:** Awww, now doesn't that leave you with a warm fuzzy feeling? Hehehe. If ya didn't get it, this was based on Track 4, "Wave Shock." ^_^ Good times.

Remember, a writer's best friend is feedback (or Whitney, whichever).


	2. Sweet Love Part 1

**Author's notes**: Well… I know I said this would be a one-parter… And technically it still is. See, I decided to make Sweet Nothings an anthology of unrelated short stories by third person limited point of view, using Yuki Eiri. So this chapter doesn't go with the first. Got it?

Wanna know why I decided to do this? Because one lovely woman by the name of Crystalmiya asked me so adoringly to make another chapter.

Here you go, doll!

(Note: This chapter is rated PG-13 for STRONG sexual content, and some mild cussing, ^_^)

**_Sweet Nothings_**

**_Chapter 2:_**

**_Sweet Love_**

**_Part 1_**

            Yuki Eiri glanced at the small digital clock in the bottom right corner of his computer's task bar. He groaned. 

            10: 32 AM.

            Three minutes after the last time he checked.

            _Where the bloody hell is he?!_

            Eiri leaned back in his chair heavily and sighed. He mentally kicked himself for acting this way. Since when had he become so worried about the boy he now shared his apartment with? Since when was Shindou Shuichi invading his every thought? Since when did he check the clock every two minutes to try to make the time pass faster?!

            Eiri glared harshly at nothing in particular. _Since he never came home last night…_ he realized sourly. He threw his head back and screeched deep in his throat in frustration. It dawned on Eiri that nearly pulling his hair out of his head was not good. 

He was getting too involved. Ever since Shindou Shuichi had moved in, Eiri was finding himself more and more comfortable around the boy. Waking up to him on the couch every morning, drinking coffee with him, eating dinner together, and spending a good portion of the night together… it was more then Eiri could handle. He was becoming almost… _dependent_ on the singer being there. 

The novelist was snapped out of his brooding reverie when he heard a noise something akin to a key jiggling in the front door. He froze. His ears twitched and he held his breath lest he miss a noise. When Eiri heard the door swing open and the sound of shoes being taking off he knew he wasn't just imaging it. His breath rushed out of him so fast his lungs stung for a moment.

_Shu-chan's home_. The very thought had Eiri nearly melting with respite. Being in such a languid, relieving state left him immobile for a moment. He felt his body being pulled down into the floor as his head spun. Eiri had never felt such an overwhelming feeling of liberation in his life. It felt like, for the first time in over 12 hours, he could breathe normally again.

As Eiri's mind stopped spinning he began to notice a slightly unnerving situation. _Where was the cry of "Yuki, I'm home!!"? Where was the running into my office and straddling my lap? Where was the showering me with kisses? He frowned at the incredible longing burning in the pit of his stomach._

Oh yes, he was definitely caring way too much.

However, that didn't stop the golden-haired man to arrive in the living room in an instant. His suspicions about it maybe being Mika or Seguchi breaking into his home were answered.

It really was Shindou Shuichi. 

Eiri couldn't tell whether he wanted to laugh at his stupidity, scream at the boy, or just break down and cry.

The singer had his backed turned to the older man, not even realizing his presence. Shindou was moving slowly, Eiri noticed. It took the writer a minute to realize the boy's destination to the couch. 

"Hey there," was all Eiri could manage.

Shindou jumped, spinning around too fast, nearly loosing his footing. A flash of pain crossed his worn features. He blinked slowly at Eiri, as if trying to remember who he was. The novelist watched in confusion. _What's wrong with him?_

"Yuki," the singer breathed. His tensed body visibly began to loosen. Eiri's heart thudded as a small smile crossed Shindou's lips. "Good morning."

Eiri blinked. _Good morning?! That's it?! That's all I get for staying up all night worrying about him?! His brow creased dramatically, eyes hard. Shindou fidgeted uneasily and rerouted himself for the kitchen._

"You didn't come home last night," Eiri bit out pointedly. He frowned as the pink-haired boy's muscles tensed again. "Where were you?" The novelist had to swallow down the string of confessions and curses that threatened to pour out from his body. 

This time Shindou turned more slowly, the same pained smile on his features. "Oh, sorry about that," he responded. Eiri was highly unconvinced. "I was over at Hiro's," the boy explained. "I guess I forgot to call." 

_Forgot?! No _shit_ you forgot!!_

Eiri's face remained stern. He could feel the shimmers of concern in his eyes. Shindou raised an eyebrow and, Eiri noted with discontent, that even that small action was wearing him out.

"Were you worried about me?" the younger man cooed playfully. His smile spread. The writer's shoulders slumped in slight relief that he was acting at least semi-normal. 

"No," Eiri spat. He turned his head to the side, away from his lover, and crossed his arms defiantly. He paused unsurely. "You told me to wait for you for dinner," he added, more gently then he intended. He heard the sharp intake of breath that Shindou sucked in.

"Oh, Yuki!" the boy cried. He reached out and pulled on the sleeve of Eiri's shirt. The older man's eyes drifted to the clutching hand and then up to Shindou's worried face. "I'm so sorry!" That time Eiri believed him. 

The novelist scoffed, pretending as though he didn't care. "Whatever, just don't do it again." He brushed away from the boy and padded into the kitchen. "I'm starving." 

"You _did eat dinner last night," Shindou called apprehensively, "right?"_

Eiri stared into the nearly empty refrigerator. "Would I be so hungry if I had?" Golden-irises slid impassively over to Shindou. 

The boy stood stock-still, eyes wide in mild horror. Eiri straightened from his position at the fridge. He watched the appalled boy incredulously. Shindou's pink lips parted, as if to speak, but only managed to move wordlessly. Eiri noticed the singer's hands were trembling.

"I-I'm sorry…" the pink-haired boy croaked. He brought a trembling hand up to his lips, eyes brimming with tears. "Yuki, I'm so sorry…!"

Eiri closed the fridge and strode over to his lover. The skin between his eyebrows creased in concern. His eyes scrutinized Shindou searchingly. 

"It was just dinner," the novelist offered, not sure of what else to say. "You don't have to cry over it."

Shindou sobbed harshly despite his lover's words. He hung his head and buried his face in his hands. The boy hunched his shoulders in, as if trying to make a small sanctuary for himself. 

Eiri's lungs tightened painfully. He reached out for the trembling singer, but just as he felt his fingers graze the boy's shoulders Eiri pulled away. He hesitantly took a step backward. He could barely breathe.

"I have work to do," the writer somehow managed to squeeze out past the lump in his throat. He mentally sighed as his crying lover peeked out from behind his hands. Eiri swallowed. Hard. "Get it out of your system. I don't have time for this."

With that Eiri sauntered to his office, trying to ignore the pain in his chest and the sound of his lover's cries.

Eiri eyed his bookshelf thoughtfully - more then a shelf, really, it was more like a wall with juxtaposing flats of wood that held all his books for research. His golden eyes were focused on one book in particular that just happened to be in his line of vision. Eiri had all the intentions of research when he ambled over to his collection, but his mind got lost somewhere along the way. Eyes fixated and thoughts wandering, the novelist was swimming with questions.

_Why was he crying like that?_ Eiri contemplated bitterly. _I know he usually cries easily… but that was something more then him feeling bad about last night… He drifted back to the deep purple rings under Shindou's eyes. He could tell that something more then a little sleepover happened last night. _He was moving too slow… too pained._  _

"Yuki…?"

The voice was so small Eiri had barely even noticed it. He blinked, snapping himself out of his trance. He turned to the doorway of his office in mild confusion. 

Shindou's pink-haired head was peeking in through a crack in the door. His violet eyes locked onto Eiri's hesitantly. The writer frowned.

_He's still acting weird._

"What?" Eiri trotted back to his desk and collapsed in the plush leather chair. He watched his monitor, as if there was actually anything more worth-while then his lover there. "I have work to do," he added brusquely. 

A few seconds of silence passed. Eiri slowly dragged his eyes away from his computer and back over to the doorway. Shindou still stood there, but this time his head hung lowly. The older man's heart hammered painfully.

"Well?" Eiri drawled. He could tell his callous acts were getting through, but he didn't like the results. Usually the singer would bounce back energetically. Sometimes he would shed a few tears, and whine a little… but this was something more.

            Shindou quickly shook his lowered head. "Nothing," he replied in that same small voice. "Sorry to disturb you."

            Eiri's eyes widened slightly. He watched the smaller man slip away from the doorway with dumbstruck eyes. After a moment of his mind reeling with even more unanswered questions Eiri noted that his jaw was slack. He shut it abruptly, as if someone had been watching.

            The novelist pushed himself up from his chair and moved desperately towards the door. His chest was tightening again as he swung open the door.

            _What's come over Shu-chan? He turned his head from side to side, trying to find a sign of the singer. His stomach burned. _Better yet, what's come over me?__

            Eiri's ears perked as he heard a small ruffling about sound in the living room. He was in the archway separating the hall and living room so fast he couldn't remember if he walked or ran. The sight of Shindou just sitting on the couch, leaning forward on his elbows, eyes focused on the floor, was more then just unsettling.

            Eiri leaned against the doorframe as casually as possible. 

            "Hey."

            Shindou jumped, more so then he had earlier when Eiri came upon him unexpectedly. The boy's head snapped up but continued to stare straight forward, leaving his lover with only a profile view. After a moment, wide violet eyes swung slowly to where Eiri stood, followed by the turning head.

            Eiri's eyes hardened. He felt so useless! Even when he acted heartless all it was doing was toughening up Shindou. But now Eiri didn't even know what was wrong! And this didn't seem like the type of situation where making fun of the boy would be helpful. 

            Shindou's eyes finally made contact with Eiri's aggravated ones. He stared for a moment, face still shocked. Suddenly his shoulders slumped and he exhaled sharply. The pink-haired boy forced a small laugh.

            "Yuki." He grinned, but Eiri would tell it was a façade. 

            "Who the hell else would it be?" the novelist demanded. He dug his fingernails into the archway. 

            Shindou blinked as if he didn't understand the question, and then again when he did. "Oh," he sighed through a small giggle. "Sorry." He paused. "I was drinking all night with Hiro." Eiri noted how sad and forced his smiles were. "You know how I get with alcohol." 

            True, Eiri did know. He tried to keep his mind from wondering back to the time where Shindou chugged down a few of the writer's Budweisers. The night ended up in a horrible strip tease gone wrong that left both of them battered from Shindou's reckless behavior. Needless-to-say, Eiri never got laid that night.

            Eiri, however, knew this was more then just minor alcohol abuse. He stepped towards the couch, stuffing his hands into his pockets to keep from clawing out his hair. The nails bit into his own flesh instead. There was a fleeting thought of blood staining his new pants, but he shrugged it off. 

            "What were you going to say a minute ago?" Eiri was in front of the boy now. Shindou was craning his head up to meet his lover's gaze. When the question registered the singer dropped his head. "Tell me". It wasn't a plea, it was a demand.

            Eiri was taken a bit aback when Shindou trembled. He noted that the boy was clenching his fists into his pant legs as hard as Eiri was in his pockets. 

            "It's noth—"

            "Tell me!" the older man growled menacingly, cutting the smaller man off. 

Shindou jerked slightly at the roar. He tilted his head back up again. Eiri glared hard, but the writer knew his eyes were swimming with worry. Shindou's expression relaxing only proved his point. He fought down the urge to reach out for the younger man.

"Tell me…" Eiri repeated once more, but much softer this time. "Please," he added as an after-thought.

Eiri looked down in mild-surprise as Shindou leaned his forehead against the golden-haired man's lower stomach. His heart flipped at the intimate action. He shuddered slightly as he felt Shindou's eyelashes brush closed against his abdomen. The boy sighed softly, almost… _Dreamily?_ Eiri wondered. 

The writer felt his eyes drift shut. He didn't even realize that his fingernails had pulled themselves free from the crevices in his palms until his hands were gently holding his lover's head against him. Never in all the time had he spent with the singer had Eiri and he been so endearing. Even during sex the older man was anything but compassionate. But now, with Shindou's arms about his waist, leaning his head against Eiri's stomach, the novelist felt all his hidden romantic notions bubbling up. He had an unwelcomed urge to put on low romance music and have a candlelight dinner. 

If he hadn't been so relaxed, he might have laughed at his own stupidity. 

"Yuki?" Shindou whispered, nuzzling in closer.

"Mmmm?" Eiri slowly opened his eyes, but only partially. He glanced down at the pink head that was pressed against him. 

"Yuki…" the singer repeated. His lover felt the boy's fingers clutching the fabric of his shirt. "I adore you…"

Eiri's ribcage ached with how hard his heart pounded. He felt his throat becoming tight.

_You wouldn't adore me nearly as much if you knew everything about me._

Shindou pressed his lips against Eiri's shirt-covered skin. "You mean the world to me…" he added, voice wavering at the end. 

Eiri was going to respond, but he was sure that his voice would be cracking, too. All these pent up emotions towards this boy, and holding him like this, was driving the novelist mad. 

Shindou audibly bit back a sob, much to the other man's chagrin. Eiri felt himself slowly settling himself down on his knees, relishing in the feel of Shindou's lips and arms brushing up along his body. He was positioned with the singer's legs on either side of him, finally just about eye level with each other. Eiri's hands slipped forward from where they lay at the back of Shindou's head and brushed against the boy's cheeks. The novelist's heart throbbed as Shindou's hands placed themselves on his chest.

The younger man's violet eyes were brimming with tears. He had his jaw set firmly and his brow creased. Eiri felt his cold hands burn at the feel of his lover's flushed cheeks. He frowned.

"Since when are you one to hold back your tears?" the blonde mumbled as good-naturedly as possible. A ghost of a smile crossed the boy's lips.

"Yuki…" The smile began to fade. Shindou lowered his head slightly. "I mean what I said… I care about you a lot…"

Eiri didn't think that at this point it was possible for his chest to get any tighter, but he was mistaken. "You barely even know me," he responded. He wanted the response to be sharp, but his voice came out low and whispery.

"I know…" Shindou slowly raised his head. He met eyes with Eiri cautiously. "And I know I might not ever know…" he continued. "But I want to. And I can't help feeling this way…" Shindou leaned in, brushing noses with an unsuspecting Eiri. He pulled on the shirt over Eiri's chest. "You mean so much to me!"

            Eiri swallowed with difficulty. His hands slipped up into pink locks. The act seemed to sooth his lover. The singer closed his eyes and sighed. Eiri attempted at fighting the urge to kiss the younger man's forehead, but was unsuccessful. He leaned up and grazed his lips over the blushing skin. "Why are you telling me all of this now?" he breathed, head spinning.

            A small hiccup was Eiri's only response.            

Eiri's lips brushed down the bridge of Shindou's nose and then hesitated over the boy's lips. "You can cry, you know," he murmured.

            The blonde felt what was happening, instead of actually seeing it. Shindou's arms were strewn around the novelist's neck, head buried on his shoulder.

 "I'm so weak…" he moaned into Eiri's shoulder. "I'm such a pest to you. I'm always crying, and I'm always annoying you." Shindou quickly pulled away. "I do nothing but bother you…" Eiri was sure the tears were going to spill, but they never did. "I want you to like me, but I'm just a screw up…!" he cried.

            Eiri could feel the utter expression of confusion on his face. _A screw-up?!__ Doesn't he know how incredibly talented he is?! Eiri's mind reeled. _Doesn't he know that there are so many people that wake up every morning just to see him smile?! _(Not that Eiri would ever be the one to tell him. Not even when they were as close as they were right now.) _

            Eiri, usually one to calculate things out before acting, was surprised at his sudden impulse. He had the singer crushed against him in an instant in a desperate action to help take away his pain. _Pain that I put there._

            However, Eiri's plans were foiled when Shindou let out a cry. The older man quickly jerked away, eyes wide.

            "What?!" he cried, eyes searching for something he did to hurt his lover. Right now, despite previous efforts, that was the last thing he wanted to do.

            "I… I pulled a muscle yesterday…" Shindou leaned back, shrinking down into the couch. His eyes darted around. Eiri watched suspiciously. "I was… doing cartwheels around Hiro's place," he added quickly.

            _Too quickly._

            "Sorry…" Eiri watched the boy under a careful gaze for a moment. He sighed heavily. What happened last night would be scrutinized in a minute, but for now…  "You're not a screw up." 

            How weird it was for Eiri to be so open about his feelings towards this boy…

            Shindou's eyes widened. He pushed himself forward quickly, bumping noses with Eiri. "But-!"

            Eiri's movements were slow and gentle, but had a very effective outcome. Just as Shindou had opened his mouth to protest, his lover's fingers found themselves brushing against the boy's pink lips to silence him. The deep blush that kissed Shindou's cheeks was just an extra bonus.  

            "Do you really care about me?" The writer didn't remove his fingers from the younger man's lips. Shindou's eyes and Eiri's mind swam with a million emotions at once. 

            "Of course!" Shindou cried softly around Eiri's fingers. The singer wrapped his arms around Eiri, pulling them closer, but not touching anywhere but their noses. He pressed his legs against either side of the older man. "I always will!"

            Eiri reach up and brushed a stray piece of pink hair from Shindou's eyes. His gaze hardened. "Then tell me the truth about what happened last night."

            Shindou's breath caught. "Wha—I _am telling the truth, Yuki!" _

            "Then why is it I don't believe you?"

            Shindou didn't move or respond for moment. Eiri watched his eyes carefully. 

            The singer opened his mouth, and then closed it again. Eiri frowned. The boy sunk deeper into the couch under the harsh glare. Yet, a loving gaze swept across his eyes. The writer didn't believe it for a second.

"I swear, Yuki, I—Ah!" Shindou yelped agonizingly as Eiri grabbed the boy by the shoulders roughly. The look of pure excruciation made the writer's stomach lurch, but he didn't let go.

_No one would feel that much pain from me just grabbing them like that… There's something more here…_

If being gentle and caring wasn't going to work, then Eiri would just have to resort back to being callous. 

            "Tell me!" Eiri howled. He squeezed the pink-haired man tighter, eliciting a choked cry. 

            "There's nothing to tell!!" the singer whimpered. He squirmed in a futile attempt to wretch himself free. The tears finally began to cascade down his cheeks. He sobbed heavily. "Yuki, let go!!"

            Eiri opened his mouth to holler at his pained lover again, but all that came out was the high pitched beeping of "Kung Fu Fighting."

            Both men froze, eyes wide.

            That_ can't be right…_

            Eiri shut his mouth, but the music continued. After another few notes realization dawned on the two men. 

            _Shu-chan's cell phone!_

            Eiri's hands fell down to his sides, finally releasing the boy. Shindou slumped and sighed heavily, the tears still flowing, but the sobs subsided. After a moment of being mildly petrified, Shindou fumbled for the ringing cell phone that was vibrating in his pocket. The singer's eyes checked who was calling. Eiri could tell that by the look on his lover's face that is was Nakano.

            Shindou quickly flipped open the phone. "Hiro?" He glanced over at Eiri with fright flashing in his eyes. Eiri's eyes widened. Shindou held up a finger, as if to tell Eiri that the call would only take a minute. However, the boy stood from the couch and stepped over his lover.

            Eiri stared at the spot on the couch where his lover was only moments ago. His eyes were wide with horror. The second he heard the boy's voice drift away as he continued his journey down the hall, Eiri gagged. He brought up a trembling hand to quickly cover his mouth.

            The sight of Shindou's terrified expression towards the writer was burned into his brain.

            Eiri stood in front of the bathroom door, hand poised as if he was going to knock. He listened to the drumming of the water from the shower that Shindou was occupying. 

            He had been standing there for five minutes.

            _Dammit__, Eiri! Knock, or walk away, you ass!_

The water was turned off and there was a creak of the sliding door of the shower stall opening, and then closing.

            Eiri sucked in a breath so deep it made his lungs burn. His hand lowered and reached for the doorknob. _Forget knocking,_ the writer growled mentally. 

            The sight of Shindou's eyes flashed in his mind again.

            The next thing Eiri knew he was throwing open the bathroom door. His lover was facing him, eyes wide, hands frozen in finishing their quest of wrapping a towel around the boy's waist. His chest was bare and revealing a hideous purple contusion all across his stomach and other bruises scattered about the rest of him.

            Both men were staring at each other, eyes appalled. 

            _My God!!_

The singer brought quivering hands to hover over his mouth in dread. He took a shaky step backwards, head turning slowly from side to side, as if in denial that Eiri was really standing before him. Tears sprung to his eyes.

            Eiri's body was working on automatic pilot. He was soon a mere foot from the younger man. The writer had never seen anyone so scared in his life. Shindou seemed as if he was trying to make himself shrink, but failing miserably. His neck craned up, eyes not able to tear themselves away from Eiri's. 

The blonde's eyes slid down the length of Shindou's body, scanning over all the abrasions and the large ecchymosis. The older man thought he was going to be sick. His eyes flashed back up to the boy's terrified ones.

"What the _hell happened to you?!" Eiri cried, only succeeding in scaring the pink-haired man further._

"I--!" the boy croaked. He continued to slowly shake his head. "N-nothing…! I-I told you…! I was d-drunk!"

Eiri glared harder. "Bullshit. This isn't just some bar fight punch! Tell me!"

Shindou sobbed harshly. He lowered his head and shook it faster. "I s-swear, Yuki!!" He choked. "I swear!"

Eiri had the singer's hands pinned against the stall door in an instant. The younger man's head snapped up in shock. Eiri was looming over him, his large hands fastening Shindou's to the glass. The horizontal handle that spread across the width of the door kept the boy's back arched. The bruised stomach brushed against Eiri's, causing the singer to cry out and toss his head to the side.

Had this not been such a serious interrogation, Eiri would have been incredibly turned on by the site Shindou was making.

"Dammit, Shuichi!!" the novelist shouted. "Tell me!!"

Shindou shook his head one last time, but much more weakly this time. He sobbed, breaths labored. He kept his head tilted to the side, glaring at the wet tiled floor. "No…" he whispered, defiantly weak. 

Eiri growled deep in his throat. "Tell me," he hissed.

Shindou never responded.

The writer shoved the boy against the door harder. Eiri's stomach knotted when the boy opened his mouth in a silent cry of pain.

"Yuki," the singer sobbed, "please…!" A wave of tremors washed over his frail form. "Let go…! Yuki, you're hurting me…!"

Eiri dropped his hands in horror. He had wanted to know who did this to his lover so badly he had only wound up hurting him more.

_You'd think I'd learn my lesson..!_ He groaned mentally, thinking of not only what happened on the couch, but in New York all those years ago…

Eiri leaned his forehead against the cool glass to the right of the pink-haired man's head. He sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry…" Eiri swallowed hard. "That was wrong of me…" He brushed feathery fingertips up the boy's sides. "I'm sorry," he repeated once more, pressing his lips against Shindou's cheek. He pulled back just enough to stare into watery violet-eyes. "But…" Eiri began once more, reaching up and brushing away the boy's tears, "why can't you tell me?"

Shindou's eyes slid over to meet Eiri's. His expression was weak and pained, but unnervingly determined.

"You have secrets, too, Yuki," the boy whispered dangerously. The aforementioned man was taken aback. "Let me keep mine."

When Yuki Eiri was cornered, he was completely ignorant of it. But this time, he knew it.

Eiri glanced at the small digital clock on his bedside table. He groaned. 

            1: 32 PM.

            Three minutes after the last time he checked.

            _Ugh… I can't sleep!_

            Eiri pressed his face into his pillow and sighed. He mentally kicked himself for acting this way. Since when had he become so worried about the boy he now shared his apartment with? Since when was Shindou Shuichi invading his every thought? Since when did he check the clock every two minutes to try to make the time pass faster?!

            Eiri blinked in disbelief.

            This was total déjà vu.

            He screamed silently into his pillow in frustration. After a few minutes of just sitting there, attempting at suffocating himself, but failing miserably, Eiri sat up. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and fumbled around in the dark for his slippers. He shuffled tiredly over to his door and slipped through the opening. He walked quietly down the hall so as to not wake the sleeping singer on his couch. 

            As Eiri neared the couch he saw the pained look on Shindou's face. The boy had his head tilted back, eyes clamped tight, back arching. His eyes slowly fluttered open as he tried a new position. He blinked at Eiri in surprise. Eiri blinked back.

            "You're awake," the novelist pointed out, quickly regaining composure. 

            Shindou smiled warily and sat up slowly. He grimaced as he pushed himself up. "Yeah," he managed out. "Not too comfortable…" The boy blinked. He quickly glanced up at Eiri, plastering on a wide smile. "But I've been through worse!" he chirped. "I'll be fine!"

            Eiri felt like screaming again. Today had been the first day he had ever seen his lover drop his energetic act, and when Eiri felt like he needed to be comforting the most, the boy switched it back on.

            Shindou leaned forward slowly. He smiled and pecked Eiri quickly on the lips. "G'night, Yuki," he purred. Eiri could see the slight apprehension flashing in his eyes.

            Just as Shindou was about to lie back down the writer caught his wrist. Eiri's mind reeled at the petrified expression that was quickly cast over his lover's face. The violet eyes darted dangerously over to the hand around his wrist. He glanced back at the blonde, tensing up.

            "It's ok," Eiri whispered. He leaned over the arm of the couch slightly. He loosened the soft hold he had on the boy's wrist and slid his hand up, threading his fingers through the singer's. Shindou relaxed instantly. "Come to bed." Eiri leaned back and gently tugged on the younger man's hand. "Sleep in my bed tonight."

            Shindou stared in shock. "R-really?" he stuttered. "Do you mean that, Yuki?"

            "Just this once," the novelist replied sharply. He didn't need the boy to know how much he really did care…

            Shindou's smile nearly took Eiri's breath away. _It's been too long since I've seen him smile like that… I had taken it so for granted…_

            "Yuki?" the singer offered cautiously, as the blonde helped him to his feet. He titled his head up, smile spreading. "I really do adore you."

            Eiri was a split-second away from pulling the younger man against him, but stopped short when he remembered the hideous bruise. He smirked instead. _Not nearly as fulfilling. He ruffled the pink-haired man's hair, pulling his other hand away from the boy's. He turned back around, trying to ignore the pounding of his heart, en route to his bedroom. He heard Shindou beginning to trail quietly behind him. _

            Eiri stepped into the bedroom, feet sinking into the carpet. He heard the soft click of the door closing. He was about to turn around, but was stopped when he felt lips pressing between his shoulder blades on his bare back. Fire shot up from his stomach.

            It seemed as though all previous terrors toward the writer were tossed to the wind. Shindou slowly stepped around Eiri to face him, fingers trailing along the older man's sensitive skin the whole time. Eiri could feel the incredible longing inside him bubbling up.

            Shindou slipped his arms around Eiri's neck and leaned in just enough to get close, but to not have anything brush against his stomach. Eiri nearly groaned as the boy's lips tugged against his. The writer had been so accustomed to the singer being there that the past twenty-four hours had been hell without those pink lips to kiss. The blonde brought his hand up to Shindou's face, slipping the fingers through his pink locks. He pushed forward, careful to not brush against the boy's sore stomach. Eiri flicked his tongue over his lover's lips, begging for entrance. Shindou opened his mouth obligingly, much to the novelist's delight. He had to fight every urge in his body that was crying out for more contact. How badly he wanted to crush this younger man against him and just ravish him…

            Shindou sighed heavily, causing the burning sensation in Eiri to grow. He ran his tongue across every crevice he could find in the singer's mouth, already having memorized where each particularly sensitive spot was. If there was one thing Eiri learned from kissing Shindou, it was that nibbling on the younger man's lips drove him crazy. _Kind of like my reaction to my ears…_

            Eiri thought back to the time when Shindou found out about the writer's sensitive ears. The boy had Eiri pinned down on the floor in a minute, the older man writhing like a whore. He knew he would never be able to live it down.

            The devilish sex fiend that was buried deep in Eiri – which really wasn't buried at all – snickered wickedly. The blonde slipped his tongue from Shindou's mouth, leaving the boy open-mouthed with his tongue pushed out just the slightest. Eiri tilted his head and _slowly_ dragged his teeth along the singer's bottom lip. The reaction was more excitable then Eiri had imagined.

            Shindou moaned deliciously, clutching onto Eiri's shoulders as his legs nearly gave way. The writer watched with high levels of amusement as Shindou flopped his head forward to land on the golden-haired man's shoulder. He let out a shaky breath.

            Eiri chuckled. "Was that too much for you?" he cooed playfully. 

            Shindou pushed himself away weakly. He stared up at his lover, eyes glazed and drooping, head listed to one side. Eiri cocked a meticulous eyebrow.

            "Uh-oh," he tutted, "I know that look…" The man grinned and leaned forward. "It's late," he continued huskily. "You're not tired, are you?"

            Shindou shook his head every so slowly. "Not at all…" He whimpered softly as Eiri led him to the bed. The boy was nearly squirming in anticipation, the writer noted deviously. 

            _This is going to be fun._

            Eiri soon found himself straddling the lithe waist of the boy that now occupied his bed. The older man's mouth found itself against the singer's neck, relishing in the vibrations his vocal cords made from all his soft moans and sighs. Eiri knew he wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer at this pace… He nipped down the sensitive flesh, coming to the barrier of Shindou's tank top. He slipped his hands up along the singer's sides, his skin heated. Shindou helped his lover ease the shirt off, leaving it discarded on the ground.   

            Eiri froze as the site of the contusion flooded his vision. The marring of his lover's perfect skin made the man want to bleed in frustration. He frowned and glanced up at the boy. Lavender eyes darted away sheepishly.

            "I'm going to have to be gentle, won't I?" Eiri grumbled. _So much for this being fun, he thought sourly, still not knowing where the bloody hell the bruise had come from._

            "Mmm." The singer nodded. He blushed guiltily. "It would be nice…"

            Eiri's eyebrow rose again. "You make it seem like I'm always rough," he countered in mild annoyance.

            "Well…" The pink-haired man turned his gaze back to golden-eyes. "You aren't exactly _gentle, either, Yuki."_

             After a short string of threats on Eiri's behalf and much giggling on Shindou's, the two men resumed in their little escapade. Eiri's lips were back on the singer's body, tracing feathery kisses across the bruise. He silently prayed that the "kiss it and it feels better" theory was true.

            A sniffle from Shindou proved the writer wrong.

            "Did I hurt you?" he asked worriedly, head snapping up. There were tears in the younger man's eyes.

            "No," Shindou replied, voice cracking slightly. "It's just… you're never this nice to me…"

            _I've never been this enthralled with you before, either._

            Eiri feigned annoyance. "You said to be gentle."

            "I know." The singer sniffed again and smiled softly. "It's just different."

            The thought that being an actual civilized person was such a stark contrast to how Shindou was usually treated by his lover, left Eiri feeling like one, big, run over pile of horse manure. And when Eiri felt guilty – a rare occurrence indeed - he felt _guilty_.

            "Fine," he spat, trying to mask being appalled at how crude he always treated the boy. "I'll be rougher then."

            Eiri was expecting a protest, not a stifled giggle.

            _This brat is just full of surprises._

            The novelist wondered what it would be like if the two of them ever had sex without having conversations between bouts of kissing and removing clothes. Eiri quickly dismissed the thought, figuring it'd be like having sex with a woman. And that was the _last_ thing he wanted right now.

            By the time Eiri decided that he had teased the writhing singer enough, he was loosing control himself. And fast. His hands fumbled with the button on his lover's jeans, pulling down the zipper with his teeth. Shindou sucked in a breath and gripped the sheets.

            "If you let go before I even get your pants down, I'll kill you."

            The pink-haired boy tossed his head to the side and laughed. However, his bubbling laughter, all though incredibly soothing, was abruptly cut off by a sharp cry. Eiri froze from what he was doing: lifting the singer's hips up to pull the pants down over the bulge that lay underneath. Shindou gritted his teeth.

            "You tell me to be gentle," Eiri began, easing the boy back down on the bed, starting to become genuinely annoyed, "and then you start tearing up because I'm being _too gentle." His eyes hardened in a ticked, yet understanding manner. "And then you complain when I act normally."_

            Eiri shuddered slightly when Shindou reached out to brush away a stray piece of golden hair. He was smiling adoringly.

            "Maybe you should be something in between, then?" the boy offered jokingly. "Like Goldilocks!" he exclaimed, tugging on one of Eiri's bangs. He glowered in response. Shindou only giggled harder.

            Eiri sighed and sat up from his bent over position at the boy's hips. "I suppose you shouldn't be on bottom, then, tonight."

            Shindou blinked as his lover helped him up. "But you hate not being on top," the boy pointed out matter-of-factly. Eiri smirked, knowing the singer had learned his lesson from the time he tried to get away with that. Yuki Eiri was not one to let someone else take control.

            "I'll manage for tonight." He eased off Shindou's lap. He winked. "But only for you."

            Eiri was sitting up on the bed, legs stretched out in front of him, breaths labored. He was utterly spent, but not spent enough to not realize how incredibly endearing the whole situation was.

            The sheets that lay haphazardly wrapped around the two men rustled like dry leaves in the wind. Shindou was straddling Eiri's lap, a good half a head higher then the writer. The latter's head was tilted, for Shindou's own was buried in the crook of his neck. Eiri placed a short kiss on the boy's collarbone. He leaned up and kissed his ear as well.

            "Why are you crying?" Eiri whispered softly. He ran feather light fingers up and down Shindou's trembling spine. His shoulder was wet with the boy's tears. "Is it your stomach?" He noted that their naked bodies were pressed up against each other softly. It couldn't be too comfortable for the wounded singer.

            Shindou shook his head against Eiri's neck. He held onto the man tighter, despite the flash of pain that racked his body.

            "We did it in this position for a reason," the writer huffed. "Not so you can be a masochist."

            The pink-haired boy pushed himself away just enough so he could see his lover's face. The way the moonlight drifting through the window lit the singer's face literally took Eiri's breath away. He found it all so incredibly cliché, being a romance author and all. He never thought actions and feelings like this really existed.

            "Thank you, Yuki," Shindou sighed, a small smile dancing on his tear streaked face. His chest rose and fell with shallow breaths. "It was wonderful."

            Eiri felt his face flush and silently thanked the dimly lit room. He could feel his ego swelling inside him. He had been told many times how good he was during sex, but hearing it from Shindou seemed more like a wholesome truth, not some two-bit whore just trying to get a more frequent customer. 

            "You just like being on top when we're having sex," Eiri joked, "that's all."

            The novelist never expected the boy to hang his head, eyes clouded. He gripped the sheets that lay pooled around their waists.

            "Is that it…?" the singer asked lowly. "Is it just sex to you…?"

            Eiri froze. Was it just sex? What did Shindou want him to say to that?! Did he honestly expect for Eiri to say that "no, it's more then that?"?! 

His heart panged. But, Shindou was right… The last half hour _had_ been more then just sex. It was slow and deliberate, heavy breaths lingering in the air, arms wrapped around one another, heads tossed back, moans coming from their throats. In all his years, Eiri had never felt like that before in his whole life.

Eiri never responded, and Shindou didn't press the subject. Instead he sat up straight, a grin on his face saying "ha, I'm taller then you now". He leaned down and brushed lips with his lover.

Although not willing to complain, the older man wondered just why the singer had dropped the subject. Realization dawned on him that Shindou was respecting Eiri's feelings – a subtle hint that he should do the same for the boy.

Shindou slinked he arms around his lover's neck. Eiri relished in the feeling of the younger man's fingers running through his hair. He shivered when he felt the boy's hot breath against his ear, and a wish that the two could stay this way forever.

"Don't push your luck," Eiri managed around the lump in his throat. Shindou giggled and pulled away. "This is a one time occurrence," the man reminded.

"I know." The disappointed look in Shindou's eyes made the blonde mentally slap himself. "I'm just hopeful." 

Eiri's heart ached.

"Let's go to sleep," the writer offered, fatigue beginning to overwhelm his body.

The singer nodded and began to ease off his lover. Eiri kissed his cheek quickly, causing a blush to rise. The boy's taste lingered in a salt-sweat mixture on Eiri's tongue. If he hadn't been so blasted spent, he would have kissed every inch of the pink-haired man.

            The blonde soon found his place on the bed next to his lover. The singer cocooned them in the thin sheets. Eiri lay on his stomach, an arm drooping over the boy that was on his side, facing the writer.

            "Goodnight, Yuki," Shindou whispered gently. He quickly pecked the older man on the lips.

            "Mmr," Eiri grumbled, nuzzling into the bed. "G'night."

            Little did Yuki Eiri know that morning would bring the answers to all his questions, and simultaneously change his life forever.   

**Author's Notes:** The next chapter is a continuation of this one, because I'm a loser and I say so. Stay tuned! ^_^

(and review)


	3. Sweet Love Part 2

**Author's notes**: And the conclusion of the "Sweet Love" saga. If it's only two parts, is it still considered a saga? Hmmm… Something to ponder on while you read this if you get bored.

(Note: This chapter is rated PG-13 for STRONG sexual content, and some f-word cussing, ^_^)

**_Sweet Nothings_**

**_Chapter 3:_**

**_Sweet Love Part 2_**

            Yuki Eiri drew in a deep breath through his nose until his lungs burned. The air whooshed out quickly in a near refreshing manner. He grumbled something under his breath, eyes closed, snuggling deeper into his bed.

            A small giggle caused his ears to perk.

            "You awake?" a melodic voice cooed.

            "Nggghhrr," the writer groaned. He cracked open one eyelid, golden-irises peeking out. "No," he responded gruffly.

            Shindou Shuichi peered back at him, violet eyes shimmering in mirth. The sunlight drifting in from the window backlit the singer brilliantly. 

            _Like waking up to an angel…_ Eiri blinked at his fleeting though, both eyes open now. His heart thudded in realization that this was the first time he had ever woken up next to his lover. _Ungh__… It's too early for this!_ he cried at his fluttering heart.

            "Good morning?" Shindou offered unsurely.

            "Mrr." Eiri rolled onto his back. "That's a contradiction…" he groaned, rubbing the back of a hand over his tired eyes.

            The novelist sucked in a slow breath when he felt the warmth of his lover's naked body curl up against him. The singer rested his head on Eiri's chest, just over his heart. The blonde could feel the boy's lips spread in a languid smile.

            "You're heart is pounding," Shindou breathed out through a giggle. Eiri shuddered at the breath wafting over his skin. The boy leaned up over Eiri's face. "Mine is, too."

            Eiri flushed when the singer grasped one of his hands with his own smaller ones. The hand was placed over Shindou's heart. Being no stranger to touching the little ball of energy, Eiri failed to understand why his lungs were tightening.

            _We're beating in the same rhythm…_

            "Must have been from dinner last night," the writer retorted brusquely, pulling his hand away.

            "Yuki." Shindou giggled again. He lied back down, next to his lover this time. "We didn't have dinner last night."

            "My point exactly."

            Shindou pulled the sheet up to his cheeks to hide his giggle. Eiri glanced over at the boy, knowing just by the glow in his eyes that the singer was smiling. The blonde reached out and ruffled the pink locks on Shindou's head. He could feel a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

            _Gods, he's adorable…_ Eiri silently vowed that the boy was sleeping next to him from now on.

            Shindou emitted one of those delicious sighs that always drove Eiri to the edge. That was one of the novelist's favorite aspects of the boy. Even his sighs were melodious. No wonder Bad Luck was growing in popularity so fast.

            Eiri was about to open his mouth to say something uncouth, yet with all the intentions of being endearing, when a thunderous grumble bubbled up in his stomach. Both men blinked at each other, only staring wide-eyed for a moment. The singer recovered first.

            Shindou giggled, sitting up. "I guess I'll go make breakfast, then." He slipped out of the bed and, Eiri presumed, scampered to the bathroom to get his robe.

            The writer stretched, grateful for the promise of food.

            Then it hit him that Shindou Shuichi was making the abovementioned food.

            Eiri groaned. "I think I've lost my appetite…"

            Eiri desperately tried to suppress the childish grin that was pulling at his lips. It was so odd for him to feel like this, yet surprisingly natural. The smile threatened to grace his lips once more when Shindou continued his dance. The boy had been drumming his toes against Eiri's shins from across the table for a good five minutes now.

            The golden-haired man picked at his toasted bagel (that Shindou made surprisingly well), careful not to choke from his censored mirth. His lover had already finished his bowl of Frosted Flakes, or as Eiri liked to put it "something healthy that's covered with sugar just to make brats like you more hyper". The boy now occupied himself by doing a little jig on the writer's legs. The said writer was desperately trying to be his ignorant self, but was failing horrendously. 

            "You're smiling," Shindou purred. Eiri clenched his jaw tightly. "It's cute, though!" the boy complained, apparently noticing the tensing action. 

            Eiri cleared his throat. He pushed the unfinished bagel aside and downed the rest of his coffee, disregarding the burning of his esophagus that followed. The writer pushed his chair back from the table and briskly stood. No longer able to feel the tap dance on his leg, the said appendage felt cold and tingly.

            Shindou raised his eyebrows. "Where are you going?" He looked down at Eiri's plate. "You didn't finish." His face creased into a pout. "Did I make it bad?"

            _Surprisingly, no…_

            "I'm going to go out for a bit," the blonde responded, pushing his chair back in and carrying the plate over to the garbage pail. He tipped the plate, letting the bagel fall in, and then dropped the chinaware in the sink. "The fridge is near empty," he grumbled, turning back to his lover. "I'm going to the store.

            Shindou smiled playfully. "You're just sad you're out of beer and cigarettes."

            _Nailed._

            Eiri scoffed and resisted the urge to either hurt the singer or kiss him madly. He spun on his heel and made his way down the hallway. The sound of Shindou's giggling echoed in his ears even after he couldn't hear it anymore.

            Eiri leaned against the wall adjacent to the front door while pulling on his shoes. He expertly kept his eyes adverted from the boy next to him. When Eiri had glanced over the first time he had to swallow the desire to "eat him up", to coin a phrase. The singer was just too blasted adorable, with his hair all ruffled from not brushing it out yet, and the bathrobe he wore hanging off his shoulders. Eiri had once contemplated on buying Shindou a bathrobe that actually fit, but decided against it when he saw the delectable sight his lover made.

            "Do you want me to come with you?" Eiri heard Shindou ask hesitantly.

            He made the mistake of looking up.

            Shindou was staring with gorgeous, wide, lavender eyes. His hands were curled up in little fists over his mouth. The bathrobe was drooping off his limbs just as Eiri had expected. The negligee that reached mid shin on the writer just missed kissing the ground on Shindou. It was all the older man could do just to shake his head and put on his other shoe.

            "Be safe then." Shindou leaned up and pecked Eiri on the cheek. 

            Eiri turned his head away to hide the rising blush. He nodded numbly and stepped out the door, closing it reluctantly behind him. He exhaled slowly, leaning his back against the closed, cool wood of the door. He took shallow breaths, waiting for his heart to recede back to its usual rhythm. 

            Before Eiri could fight it, he felt his mind being dragged towards his _true_ destination: _Nakano-san's house._ It was time for him to find out, once and for all, what exactly happened to his excitable lover the other night. 

            The writer reluctantly pulled away from the door, the warm, secure feeling of being near Shindou gradually evaporating with every step he took. By the time Eiri had arrived in the apartment building's parking lot, his whole body felt numb with an eerie coldness. 

            _What if I really don't want to know what happened?_ His mood soured dramatically as he unlocked his car and slipped inside. _Why the hell should I care anyway? He's just some little punk brat that got in a nasty fight, right?_ Eiri revved the engine. He didn't move for a moment. _Right?___

The golden-haired man knew subconsciously in the back of his mind that he was driving, but the active part of his mind was somewhere else completely. Never had his feelings towards someone tugged at his heart so much. Never had he been so worried about betraying someone's trust… After all, Shindou seemed dead-set that Eiri never find out what happened. And yet, here he was, a mere two miles from Nakano's apartment, ready to do anything it took to get the truth.

            And Eiri would get the truth. He always did.

            However, the problem of _how_ he would get the truth began to penetrate into the writer's thoughts as he pulled into a parking space on the empty street outside Nakano's apartment. When getting his way Eiri would often use his seductive charms, which worked mostly only on women, except for a few straggling men here and there, but with Nakano that was most definitely not the case. And when that failed Eiri usually would have to resort to bribery, black mail, or, if worse came to worse, violence. He silently prayed as he neared the guitarist's door that it would not come to that. It was bad enough Eiri was trying to get the information, despite Shindou's resistance. The last thing he needed was to _beat_ it out of Nakano. The writer was already going to be on thin ice with his lover once the singer found out Eiri knew the truth. 

            But – Eiri poised his hand to knock on door 201 – what _was_ the truth? _And why the bloody hell do I care so much?!_

Eiri felt his fist thud on the door harder then he anticipated, unable to control the sudden surge of vehemence directed towards himself and Shindou. He glared ice daggers at the golden plaque that read Nakano's apartment number. A piece of loose-leaf was taped haphazardly under the plaque and read: Nakano Hiroshi (in what Eiri presumed to be the guitarist's surprisingly neat handwriting). The plaque seemed to get smaller and farther away suddenly. Eiri blinked. The door was opening.

Nakano stood, holding the door open with one hand, the other running through his long brown hair. A blue-tie-dye guitar pick hung from his lip. He promptly dropped it into the latter hand.

"Yuki-san," he managed uneasily. "What are you doing here?"

Eiri's eyes were hard and steady, despite the flipping of his stomach.

_I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be here…_

"We need to talk." The writer stuffed his hands into his pockets roughly. "Now."

            "Oh, uh… okay…" Nakano stammered warily. He shifted on his feet. 

The brunette watched Eiri carefully. The said writer arched an eyebrow. He nodded his head towards the inside of Nakano's apartment with a "Well…?" look in his eyes. The guitarist blinked.

"Right, sorry." He fidgeted, swinging the door open wider, gesturing for Eiri to enter. "Come in," he added, completely flustered. As he closed the door behind Eiri he asked: "I'm gathering this is about Shuichi…?"

            "Why else would I be here?" the older man snapped, toeing off his shoes. He took a quick glance of the oddly neat studio apartment. 

            "Right." Nakano sat down on the bed parallel to his couch. Eiri sat down opposite him. "Well, what's up?"

            The writer crossed his legs, shifting comfortably in the plush blue couch. It was odd to feel so physically comfortable, when his mind was reeling. "Want to tell me what happened the other night?"

            Nakano's face didn't flinch. "What night?"

            "Don't screw with me, Hiroshi," Eiri bit out. "I don't need your damn games. The night the brat didn't come home and claimed he was here."

            "Oh, right. _That _night." The guitarist was the vision of innocence. Eiri nearly spat. "We both got drunk, cuz it was a hard day at the studio." Nakano paused, smiling. "And I'm sure you know how he is when he's drunk. But, anyway, since I was a little tipsy, too, we decided that it'd be the best thing if he just spent the night here."

            The blonde wasn't buying a damn bit of it. "Uh-huh. Nice try." Eiri leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Want to tell me the truth this time?"

            "Wha…" Nakano pulled back slightly, eyes bewildered. "Yuki-san, I _am_ telling you the truth."

            "Hiroshi, you know I'm a man of persuasion." Eiri was glaring, voice slick and confident. "Don't make me hurt you."

            The brunette didn't respond for a moment. _Stalling for time, perhaps?_

"Tell me, Yuki-san…" Nakano began slowly, deliberately. "Why do you care?"

            Eiri wasn't expecting that. He blinked, taken slightly aback. "What?"

            "Do you love him?"

            The sheer informality of how Nakano asked it so bluntly made Eiri shiver. He didn't like this. Not one bit. The tables were being turned. Instead of Nakano being on edge, the younger man had found his footing. _We're on his ground_, Eiri reminded himself. And Nakano was using that to his advantage. If there was one topic that kept Yuki Eiri on his toes, it was love.

            "What the hell does that have to do with anything?!" Eiri growled, trying to feign as if he wasn't affected by the question. There was no way he was going to let this brat know that he was cornered.

            "Do you?"

            _Persistent little son of…_

            The blonde didn't respond. What was there to say? No matter how much he tried, he couldn't ignore the pull at his heart when ever Shuichi was around. And he never seemed to be able to get the singer out of his head. If he didn't care, then why would he be so bothered by the bruises? Why would he be so worried…?

            _No, God, stop it!_ Eiri yelled at himself. _It's not like that!_

            He looked away in a futile attempt to rid himself of the question. He barely even realized that his brow was knitted together in a painful thought.

            "You can't answer that, can you?" Nakano asked lowly. 

            Eiri snapped out of his self-loathing and whipped his head back to Nakano, eyes hard.

            "Shut up and answer the god dammed question!" the older man yelled, fists clenching. 

            Nakano was still wearing his poker face. He didn't seem altered at all by Eiri's sudden outburst. "Why can't you say it?" His voice was soft and low, prodding delicately on such a heart-wrenching subject.

            "Will you shut your damn mouth?!" Eiri's voice was beginning to give him away, as if his temper wasn't already doing the job. He had to get himself back in check. And fast.

            "Fine."

            Eiri blinked. Fine? That's it?

            There was complete silence.

            Realization dawned on the writer that Nakano was taking him literally – very literally. The guitarist was going to keep his mouth shut and not say another word. Eiri's eye ticked.

            "That's not what I meant," he began dangerously. He was loosing patience.

            Nakano didn't move.

            "Christ, Hiroshi!!" Eiri screamed. He gripped onto the side of the couch to restrain himself from jumping up. It was a rare occurrence that he should lose his temper this drastically. "I _will_ beat it out of you! Don't put it past me!!" he warned, tone low and sharp.

            Nakano was raising his eyebrows, still confident of himself. He slowly began to speak. "… So you do care about what happens to him?"

            "Of course I – Will you just answer the question, god dammit?!" the older man continued fervently, not able to fully catch himself in time.

            The brunette slumped. Eiri watched in a confused manner as the confidence of the younger man before him dissipated. No more games…

 "He…" Nakano began softly. "Look, Yuki-san, I don't really know where your feelings for him lie, but I do know where Shuichi's lie." He looked down, eyes gentle. "And my God, it scares me every time he has to do something to prove that to you." He looked up, eyes hard now, but not angry. "You have no idea how much he cares about you. No, don't look at me like that, you know it's true. You… you don't even understand the half of it."

            Eiri's face was speculating. "Well, maybe if you _told_ me…"

            "He didn't go to work today, did he?" Nakano asked quickly.

            "Uh… no," the writer replied, thinking back. "He said he had the day off."

            Nakano's face was becoming sharp. "And he will tomorrow, too. And the day after that. And the day after that. You know why, Yuki-san?" The brunette was glaring now. "Because he quit."

            "He did _what_?!" Eiri cried, leaning forward. His brow furrowed and his eyes widened slightly.

            "It's true," was all the guitarist said. He watched Eiri carefully. 

            "No, no, no. Don't you give me that reprimanding look. I had nothing to do with his idiocy!" the blonde growled in his defense, shaking his head.

            "Oh? You didn't?" Nakano's brow was arched. He had an oddly irritated look on his face. "You want to know the truth, right? Well, then, here's the truth." His voice was quick and harsh. "You know the band ASK, part of NG Productions? Well, they aren't exactly the nicest bunch."

            "Shuichi told me," Eiri cut in.

            "Well, Aizawa, their lead signer, 'befriended' Shuichi." A heavy scowl made it's way to the younger man's lips. "The son of a bitch brought Shuichi back to his place and then gave him a drink or two. The next thing Shuichi knew, two big guys were walking in the room and Aizawa was standing over Shuichi, laughing that sick laugh of his. 

"They dragged him somewhere – Shuichi doesn't remember where exactly, since he wasn't fully sober. By the time he got there, though, he was beginning to sober up, and found himself thrown on the hard pavement of a parking garage. The two big buys picked him up and Shuichi kept trying to squirm away. I'm gathering you saw the bruises? Yes, well, that was their doing. 

"Aizawa was watching the whole thing, camera in hand. Soon Shuichi stopped fighting and let them have their way."

            Eiri's head was spinning. He didn't remember bringing his hand up to cover his mouth, but there it lay, trembling over his parted lips. His mouth was painfully parched, and the bile was sloshing against his esophagus. He had never felt so nauseous in his life.  

            Eiri tried to think, he really did, but his brain was still attempting to compute what was just told to it. The sheer gruesomeness of the whole situation kept the usually articulate writer from speaking. Nakano's words continued to flood his mind and the horrific images that followed.

After a few moments Eiri manage to croak a small "They…?" out.

            Nakano's face was drooping and sad. He shook his head slowly. "Shuichi wasn't raped, Yuki-san…" he answered almost inaudibly. 

            Eiri nearly cried with relief. However, hearing the word "rape" in the same sentence as "Shuichi" was still highly unsettling. Despite the incredible liberation of such horrifying thoughts, Eiri was still close to gagging.

            _If he wasn't raped, then what _did_ they do to him?_

            "So he's…" The older man paused, not sure how to word his question. The irony of a writer not knowing what to say was almost laughable. _Almost._ "He's okay…?"

            _No, not okay… If he was okay he wouldn't have those bruises. If he was okay he wouldn't have been so terrified._

            "He…" Nakano just continued to shake his head "He wasn't raped," he repeated, a bit louder this time.

            Eiri didn't respond. 

_Not raped – good, that's good._ _He wasn't raped, he wasn't raped – he's okay. No, no he's not okay. Hiro would have said if he was okay, but he's not okay because he was crying, and crying people are not okay –and my GOD what the HELL DID THEY DO TO HIM?!_

            "I don't know the specifics…" the guitarist began once more. He was watching Eiri closely. His brown eyes were hard, yet understanding. "He was crying too hard…" the brunette explained.

            Eiri couldn't take it any longer. He tried to keep his thoughts under control, and when that failed he was at least still keeping his mouth under control. But he went loose.

"Why the hell would they do that?!" the novelist cried in desperation. His own reputation for being calm and aloof was long forgotten. This was, after all, Shuichi we were dealing with here. 

            "Because Aizawa is one fucked up guy," Nakano answered nonchalantly. And Eiri had always thought he was one with no tact…  "They said that Shuichi had to quit Bad Luck, otherwise he'd use the pictures against him, our band, and you. That's why Shuichi quit."

            "That idiot!" Eiri cried, nearly jumping from his seat again. "How could he do something like that?! Bad Luck is his dream!"

            Nakano's steady gaze never faltered. "That's how much he loves you, Yuki-san."

            Eiri blinked, lips parted. He knew Shuichi cared about him, but… love? _He never said anything about being in love with me…_ And for some reason, hearing it from Nakano was highly convincing. 

            The older man couldn't find the ability to speak.

            "You have no idea…" Nakano began once more, voice beginning to slightly waver. "You're such a lucky bastard," he cried, finally loosing control, "and all you do is hurt people!"

            Eiri pulled his head back the slightest, perplexed. "What?"

            "You only live for yourself, Yuki-san!" the brunette growled, jumping up from his seat on the bed. "You only give a damn about your own life! What the hell do you care if some teenage boy is madly in love with you?!" His eyes were wild and his fists were clenched. Eiri had never seen the vibrant young man so vehement before. "What the hell do you care if you break his heart?! What do you care if you're breaking _Ayaka's_ hea—" Nakano gasped, abruptly cutting himself off, shocking the older man before him and himself.

            "You—"

            "Oh God… No, shit, I'm sorry…" The guitarist stumbled backwards, nearly falling back onto the bed. Eiri noted the boy's hands were trembling. "Look, I… But, you just…" he stuttered. He watched Eiri a moment longer, eyes still wide with disbelief. After a moment he sighed loudly, shoulders slumping. He eased himself back down on the bed wearily. "Ugh, forget it…"

            A slow smile spread across Eiri's lips, but nothing genuine. _He's quite amusing…_ "You love Ayaka, don't you?"

            Nakano's lips moved for a moment, but no sound left them. He paused, thinking. "… I… I don't know…"

            Eiri sighed in mild amusement. He dipped his head back to lean on the back of the couch. He closed his eyes. "Ayaka's naïve. She'll forget about me soon enough, and then you can be with her." He opened his eyes, leering at the ceiling. "I need to take care of one relationship at a time, thanks. Shuichi's the most important one to me right now. I'll deal with the girl later."

            "Yuki-san, you—"

            "You tell him I said that, and you die," the novelist responded with a scowl, still watching the ceiling.

            "Right." A ghost of a smile graced the brunette's lips. Eiri watched out of his peripheral vision. He felt a mild hint of relief for the young guitarist, but then Shindou began to flood his mind again.

            "… This Aizawa…" he began, pulling his head forward to watch Nakano. "Where can I find him?" 

            _Losing control…_

            Ma's eyes were still determined behind the mess of dirty-blonde bangs that fell in front of them. 

            _I can't handle it…_

            Eiri's eyes, however, were more determined, more…

            _Animalistic…_

            "Yuki-san, don't, please!"

            _It's taking me over…_

            Ken continued to plead for Eiri's release of his friend, and Ma's eyes grew more terrified by the minute.

            _Yes… tremble… Be terrified… Fear me…_

            Eiri could feel the hole of his past ripping through him into a blood-red oblivion.

            _No… no no no no no no…!_

Aizawa merely watched, not saying a word. Ken continued to pray. Ma just stared, eyes impossibly wide.

            _MAKE IT STOP!_

Eiri drew back his hand and felt the crack of flesh and bone under his knuckles as he made contact with Ma's cheek.

            The hole tore open. He was blinded by blood.

            Eiri quickly wiped the smear of blood off of his nose that sprayed from Ma's mouth. The younger man was thrown back against the wall; eyes closed tightly, mouth bubbling with his life vitae from the hit. Eiri's mind was screaming at him to stop, but his fists were now acting on their own. The past had been released, and he was acting on instinct. Previously to save himself, and now to save the one he… he what?

            Another punch.

            _Sensei… sensei, make it stop don't do it sensei please stop i don't want to hurt you and i can't take and i just want it all to stop because if it doesn't i might… i might…_

"MA-KUN!"

            Eiri was blinded completely. Somewhere deep down, though, he knew where the young guitarist lay, and just the right places to punch.

            "Tachi, this is you're fault! Make him stop!"

            Aizawa didn't say a word. Ken cried out more. Ma screamed and gurgled in pain. He wasn't even putting up a fight anymore.

            _Sensei i took you're name as punishment and i live with it everyday but i don't want it anymore and i don't want this and what will by my punishment this time?_

            Eiri could feel Ma trembling under his hands. A blow to the stomach had the boy gagging. Ken's begs were drowned out. Aizawa's heavy breathing was heard in the background.

            _Sensei i swear i didn't meant to hurt you but you did it and you started it and i didn't want to cause you pain sensei i just wanted it all to stop and i couldn't take it and oh god sensei please oh please oh please make it stop stop stop stop STOP!_

"You're insane…" the vocalist of ASK breathed. Eiri could barely hear it.

            He pummeled Ma harder. The blonde squeaked in a desperate plea for help. Ken was openly sobbing now.

            _Sensei i loved you did you know that? yes you did didn't you? which is why you did it because you knew i loved you and you took advantage of that took advantage of a sixteen year old boy in love with his teacher and it just wasn't right and you took advantage of it and you didn't care and i loved you sensei i swear it and i still loved you long after you were dead and i felt so bad and god sensei i miss you so much!_

Ma wasn't making anymore noises. He was slumped in a heap on the floor, head hung, blood dripping from his face to stain his previously white shirt. The stains bled together to make one blur of crusty red. Eiri pulled back. There was no fun in punching him when he was unconscious. And yet, Eiri found amusement in the stains. He watched in fascination as the stain grew larger with each drop that fell from Ma's busted lip.

            _but i gave up sensei because you were gone and it was all those years ago and i gave up on you and i stopped loving you but i kept your name as a constant reminder and every time i get a paycheck i remember you because without you i would never have learned to write so well_

Eiri took a few steps back, admiring his work. A sick smile parted his lips. He slowly turned his head to where Ken stood shaking, eyes wide behind the sunglasses, tears streaming down his flushed face. Aizawa stood next to him, trying to keep his composure, but failing miserably.

            "Who's next?"

            _but sensei i don't love you anymore i just miss you and i wish you were here because you would tell me that it was all going to be ok but no no no you're gone long long gone and you're never coming back because it's all your fault sensei if you hadn't done it sensei you'd still be alive and we'd be happy and I wouldn't be like this sensei I wouldn't be trying to kill again and I wouldn't have built up all these defenses…_

            "You're insane…" Aizawa repeated. Eiri's ears perked.

            "No," the writer drawled, voice deep and low. "Not insane." He took a step towards the two still standing. Ken shrunk back. "I'm here to protect Shu-chan."

            _but then he came sensei and changed it all just like you did you ruined me sensei but i loved you and I let you and you screwed up my whole life just like he is and he just barged in besides all my warnings and he ruined it all and now i'm defenseless again and i can't take it because the man i loved was you sensei and you destroyed it all and I don't want him to destroy it because I just want to be happy sensei but I don't know if that's possible…_

            "What do you want?" Aizawa breathed, pressing himself against the wall as the older man neared. Next to him Ken tried desperately to shrink into the shadows of the dimly lit room, but to no avail.

            "I want the film."

            Ma gurgled softly behind Eiri. Aizawa's eyes darted over to his friend nervously. 

            "He's in bad condition," the older blonde began, causing the vocalist to shift his gaze back to the man nearing him. "The sooner you give me the film, the sooner you can get him to the hospital." Another gurgle. "He needs it."

            _will__ he hurt me like you did to me sensei? is everything i'm doing right now in vain? am i loosing control again and going to wind up killing someone again because of you sensei? or is it his fault because i cant help but… but… oh god sensei I love him…!_

            Aizawa gulped, a pained expression on his face. His hands trembled at his sides. Eiri stepped forward so that the toes of their shoes were brushing. The writer leaned his palm against the wall right next to Aizawa's head. The latter man flinched.

            "Well?" Eiri question patiently. The manic gleam never left his eyes.

            "For God's sake, Tachi!!" Ken screamed from his slinking in the corner. "Give him the fucking film, you ass!!"

            "Smart keyboardist you have there, Aizawa-kun." Eiri flashed a grin, his teeth clenched. "Are you going to listen to him? Or should I beat it out of him a few more times?"

            _i__ don't want to love him sensei don't want to do it i don't want to be in love again because it hurts and i cant take it anymore and i don't want to be in pain and i don't want to kill anymore but my body is working without me because i love him so much and i just want to save him but i cant because i'm a killer and i'm a horrible person and its hurting him and its hurting me and i don't want to be in love anymore!_

            Aizawa didn't move or speak. Eiri's smile never faltered.

            "All right then…" The writer pulled back and stepped to the side. He turned to face Ken. "One down, two to go. You first," he rumbled, eyeing the terrified Ken.

            _i__ don't want to hurt anymore but it feels so good when he's around and why oh why can't it be easy to be in love? why can't i just be happy with him?!_

Ken's lips were crying out in a silent plea, but his voice just came out I small, raspy squeaks. Eiri's looming shadow fell over the man with the out of place sunglasses. The keyboardist ducked his head and covered himself with his arms as Eiri raised his fist.

            _why__ can't i just love him?!_

            "Hang on tight," Eiri hissed, releasing his blow.

            _JUST MAKE IT STOP!_

            "WAIT!!" 

            Eiri froze, mid-punch. He blinked, face blank. Ken's sunglasses slipped down his sweated nose to reveal wide, blood-shot eyes. Both men turned to look at Aizawa, who's mouth still hung open slightly from his cry.

            "Did you change your mind?" Eiri asked, turning fully from Ken. Aizawa nodded. "Smart man."

            Aizawa held out a shaking, clammy hand. He uncurled his trembling fingers to reveal a roll of film. Eiri breathed hard out his nose in a sign of amusement.

            "This is it," the singer began, voice wavering. "It was never developed. Take it." He jerked his hand slightly in offering. Eiri took it. "Ma and Ken had nothing to do with it.

            "Aw, and you tell me that now after I had all my fun?" Eiri's smile spread. Aizawa shuddered.

            _sensei__.. what should i do…?_

            "Tachi," Ken began, "you asshole."

            Eiri snickered. "I sense some hostility."

            "The hostility is coming from you," Aizawa bit out. He blinked after he finished what he was saying. A terrified look crossed his features. His hand was about to fly to his mouth, but he regained his composure in time.

            "Possibly," the writer crooned. He stuffed the film in his pocket. "But it's not nice to insult an 'insane' person, is it, Aizawa-kun?"

            The said man shuddered terribly. His teeth chattered despite his attempts at restraint. "Look, I just hired the two guys for that one time. We'll never see each other again. If you want to hunt them down, then leave me—" Ken glared "_us_ out of it."

            _Sensei… let me go! let me love him!_

            "Fine." Eiri flashed one more sick grin at the two men and made his way for the door. "Thank you for your cooperation." As he passed the unconscious Ma, he paused. "Oh," the writer added, turning back to Aizawa for a moment. "If you ever lay a finger on Shu-chan again, I will not hesitate to put you in a worse condition then your friend here." Eiri emphasized his statement by giving the comatose aforementioned man a nudge with his foot.

            "You're not a writer…" Aizawa spoke softly, stopping Eiri just as he began to open the door. "Writer's don't have frenzied eyes like that… Those are the eyes of an animal…"

            "No." Eiri cocked his head back, golden eyes hard and glaring. "These are the eyes of a killer."

            Eiri stumbled wearily into the bathroom adjacent from the room he just left. He closed the door behind him, trying to barricade himself away from the room across the hall that held a near comatose Ma, a sobbing Ken, and a terrified Aizawa. He slid down the length of the door.

            Eiri took in shallow gulps of air, trying to bring himself back to his senses. He stared unseeingly to the stark white ceiling. His chest rose and fell painfully with his pants. Hastily dragging a hand across his forehead Eiri wiped away the beads of sweat that gathered there. He sighed heavily after a moment and finally regained some of his composure.

            The novelist waited another moment before reaching into the compartment in his pants. His eyes were still glued the ceiling as his fingers wrapped around the film in his pocket. His dull, amber eyes drifted down to rest on his removed, clenched hand. The fingers uncurled. His stomach lurched at the small object in his palm.

            The curiosity began to swell again. There, gnawing in the back of his head, sat a demon whispering thoughts of torment and molestation. As Eiri felt the weight of the film in his hand the demon began to whisper more urgently. It was eating away at him; eroding him.

            A moment later found Eiri on his knees with his head craned back. His arms were held above his head and a strip of exposed film in his hands. He squinted at them through the florescent lighting on the bathroom ceiling. He brought the miniature photos closer to his eyes. A second later and the pictures were coming into full focus.

            Time passed; time with Eiri frozen on the tile floor, staring with unbelievably wide eyes at the pictures before him. More time passed and Eiri could feel the tears stinging behind his eyes. More time and the whole roll had been looked through. A little bit longer and the film dropped from the writer's trembling hands. Soon the sweat was breaking out again. Even sooner was the toilet lid lifted. And a short time after that Eiri was racking with dry gags as the remains of his morning coffee and bagel scratched their acidic way up his throat.

            Eiri let out a tearless sob as his stomach revolted on him. No longer was his breakfast. He gripped the sides of the toilet in a cold sweat as bile ripped its way up his esophagus. He gagged helplessly.

            _'He wasn't raped' Hiro said…_

            Eiri struggled to breathe in between bouts of hacking.

            _Not raped… But…_

The tears never came, which the blonde was grateful for.

            _But he was damn close…_

            After a moment, when the rebellion ceased, Eiri opened his eyes. He quickly pulled his head back so he didn't have to look at his insides that now inhabited the toilet. He leaned against the wall behind him and sprawled his legs out.

            _But… not raped…_

            Part of Eiri wondered whether he was relieved or terrified. Even after Hiro had said Shindou wasn't raped, the writer was still concerned. He had to see it for himself. But, the boy wasn't raped, so that was reason to thankful, right? But they _did_ touch him. They _did_ hurt him. They _did_… 

            Eiri's eyes fell to the abandoned roll of film on the floor. The pictures had deteriorated from the exposure. Even though the evidence was ruined, the images were still burned into Eiri's mind. He closed his eyes and let out a slow breath. The pictures bombarded him and the demon laughed.  

            "Yuuuuuukiiii?!"

            The said man's eyes snapped open. Surely that wasn't just a hallucination…

            "Yuki?! Where are you??"

            Eiri sucked in a deep breath. The taste of bile lingered on his tongue. He picked up the film and tossed it into the garbage. He stood shakily and flushed the dirtied toilet.

            "Yuki! Are you OK?!"

            As he sloshed water around the inside of his mouth, the blonde wondered just how the hell the boy knew he was at NG Studios…

            "Yuki…?"

            He took a cleansing breath and attempted at being callous.

            "YUKI!!!"

            Eiri slammed the door open. "I'm right here, will you shut the fu—"

            The older man's voice got caught in his throat as the sight before him sunk in. There Shindou Shuichi stood, in all his school girl glory. Patent leather loafers adorned his feet. White knee-highs were bunched carelessly. A pleated navy skirt swung on his hips a few inches above his knees. A sailoresque shirt hung loosely on his torso and revealed just a thin line of stomach. His hair was pulled back haphazardly into a crooked and bumpy ponytail. Eiri could feel a tick in his eye.

            "Ah, Yuki!" The boy grinned lopsidedly. "How are you?" 

            Eiri's mind stopped for a moment, took a quick breather, did a rewind, double-take, and then picked up at twice the speed to compensate for lost time. He quickly realized all he was doing was staring, and decided to regain what little composure he still had going for him. Eiri breathed heavily from his nostrils and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He tossed Shindou a glare and brushed by him down the hall. 

            "Hey! Yuki!" 

            Eiri closed his eyes and sighed, trying to ignore the boy. As he strutted down the hall in defiance, the roll of film played like a slideshow in his mind's-eye. He cringed and picked up the pace.

            "Yuki!! Wait up!!"

            Shindou's only reply was the harsh click of the writer's heels against the crisp white tile of NG Studios. 

            "This pretty girl right here is asking you to wait, GOD DAMMIT!!!"

            Eiri could feel the agitation building up and the agony dissipating. Had he not been growing more annoyed by the second he might have felt guilty about it. Alas, Eiri only bit back "I hope to Christ you're not referring to yourself, you sick bastard."

            "And you call yourself a MAN!!"

            The novelist scoffed and rolled his eyes. He exited through the automatic doors, only pausing before them for a beat, so the boy wouldn't catch up. "That's not a term you should be using, freak."

            The blonde had expected Shindou to cry out something in anger, or whine, or maybe run faster and tackle the older man from behind. However, no such thing occurred. Eiri paused in a sudden jerk in his venture down the street when he was greeted with silence. He blinked, no longer hearing the boy-in-female's-clothing rapid steps behind him.

            "Yuki…?"

            Eiri's ears perked. That was an awfully misplaced whimper… Usually Shindou would bite back when such verbal banter passed between the two men. The younger would only whimper like that when Eiri shot him a cold glare, or denied him of what little affection the writer offered. 

            The images from the roll of film suddenly bombarded Eiri's mind once more. He sucked in a quick breath as his stomach jolted and he felt the muscles in his neck and jaws tighten considerably.

            "What?" he snapped, more at his nauseated body than Shindou

            The writer shut his eyes painfully, but that only made the pictures claw at his psyche even worse. With a bit of reluctance he parted his lids again, staring unwaveringly at the street before him. He took a slow breath, waiting patiently for his lover's reply, but too afraid to face him. God only knows what sights his mind would conjure if he was to look into those miserable, violet eyes…

            Eiri parted his lips as he felt a weak tug on his sleeve. He turned his head on instinct to the pull as he heard a small thud from behind him. His eyes widened when the site of Shindou crumpled on the ground caught his eye – the boy clinging weakly to Eiri's sleeve. The golden-eyed man tried to speak, did everything in his power to make even the slightest sound, but he felt his whole world swirling in a miasma of a revolting aura he couldn't quite place. 

Seeing Shindou, down on the ground like that, reaching out for the one he loved – well, it made Eiri physically sick. He wasn't able to save the boy, and yet there Shindou was, down and beaten, stretching out for Eiri with whatever strength he had left. Eiri found it ironic. To a by-passer, with a semi-abstract way of viewing things, it would seem as though a fallen warrior (if one ignored the school-girl uniform) was leaning against a rigid pillar for support as he regained his strength. Yet, in the reality of it all, Eiri was about to collapse himself. 

            _The things you do to me, you fool… _the author mentally grumbled pathetically.            

            "Yuki…?" There it was again; that almost inaudible whimper. Eiri felt his knees buckle dangerously.

            The blonde sighed. There was no need for a response. He turned his head away and stared unseeingly through the staring throng of people coming to and fro. He took a deep breath, trying to clean his system and regulate himself.

            "Don't…"

            The writer's ears perked. _'Don't'?_

            "… be mad…"

            Eiri felt his gut tighten.

            "Don't… hate me…"

            The tears were prickling behind his eyes. He blinked defiantly, clearing them away. 

            "I didn't mean… to…"

            Eiri didn't breathe for a moment. He waited, his lungs stretching painfully, straining to hear Shindou's next line. 

It never came.

            Eiri inhaled slowly and as deep as he could. It wasn't because he needed the extra air, or because he relished in the feel of his lungs screaming in an over-filled protest – but because he needed something, _something_ to assure him that he was truly not dreaming. He held the breath. The sharp zing of his lungs about to burst bubbled in his chest. He frowned at the boy lying in his bed before him, as if it was all the pink-haired youth's fault. The pain in his ribcage was real, and the situation before him was just as painfully real as well. His lungs were now burning with something more – the need for the air to be released, and new air take its place. The scowl on the writer's lips deepened.

            "No more."

            Eiri exhaled heavily, unable to take the burden of fire in his lungs any longer. It was almost soothing – physically, at least. Emotionally, Eiri was just as distraught. His eyes never wavered from one Shindou Shuichi that occupied his bed, despite the turmoil in his chest. 

            "God, please," Eiri whispered softly, "no more." 

            In all his twenty-one years, Yuki Eiri, or, rather, Uesugi Eiri, had never prayed – especially not to God. Being the son of a monk, Eiri was expected to pray to Buddha. However, he was also expected to follow in his father's footsteps, and it was painfully obvious to anyone with a pulse that it would never happen. As such, when the word 'God' was to pass the lips of the aloof novelist, he couldn't help but feel how out of place the title hung in the air. Still, if praying would work…

            _Shit, I'm pathetic… _Eiri groaned mentally. He adverted his eyes away from the slumbering Shindou. _You damn brat, look at what you're doing to me…._ He closed his eyes painfully. _Look at what you're doing to _yourself. His golden-eyes made themselves known once more, and they slid back to the singer's sleeping form, as if to further his point.

            Shindou Shuichi was sprawled out on his back, legs tossed haphazardly. He was positioned the way Eiri had laid him down, completely still in his sleep. The boy's school-girl skirt was bunched up in what would, in any other situation, be an extreme turn-on. When Eiri had first noticed the flash of feminine panties that kept Shindou's not-so-masculine parts covered, he actually found his first real hint of amusement in the past 24 hours. However, the amusement faded when amber eyes caught a glimpse of the bruises and discolorations that blotched the boy's skin.  

            A shuddering sigh tore its way past Eiri's pale lips. In the past half hour (of the author gathering the unconscious form of his lover into his arms, dumping him in the car, and driving him to the apartment they inhabited) Eiri had a lot of time to think. All of said thinking was done sitting in a highly uncomfortable chair next to the golden-haired man's bed, where Shindou currently slumbered. The lights were off, for Eiri felt the intrusion of such a thing would only act to further his migraine. What he needed right now was some peace and quiet, in a dimly lit room, where there was no one to annoy him and invade his thoughts. 

            Shindou stirred slightly for the first time since he had collapsed. Eiri's muscles tightened unconsciously. He watched the boy before him carefully all while mentally muttering about the irony of the situation. Just when he thought he'd get some time to himself, the singer decided to wake up. The writer's thoughts were cut off further when Shindou let out a small whimper. 

            _Just as well, I suppose._ Eiri watched as the boy's lips parted just the slightest and his eyebrows quivered. _I've thought about it all enough…_

            Yuki Eiri pushed himself up from the hard wooden seat that usually inhabited the area just next to the author's desk. If Shindou could sit in the damn thing for hours on end, just watching Eiri write, then he was sure he'd able to manage for a little while watching the boy sleep. His spine cracked as he stood and his backside burned in an odd numb-yet-not-numb-enough sensation. He pushed the chair aside and leaned himself against the wall, never taking cool-amber eyes off his groaning lover.

            "Yu…" Shindou managed hoarsely, eyes beginning to flutter open.

            "I didn't think you were going to wake up," Eiri stated plainly, face like stone. Inwardly he flinched at how roughly his voice cut the air. 

            Shindou's eyes snapped open wide at what Eiri presumed to be the realization of the singer's surroundings. The writer cringed just the slightest when he saw his lover jolt upright and swing his head around to meet the older man's gaze. The boy grimaced at the sudden movement. Eiri thought his heart was going to burst. 

            "Yuki!" Shindou cried softly. "You—"

            "How are you feeling?" Whatever level of meaning that questioned might have contained was completely subdued but Eiri's deadpan expression. 

            "Fine!" the pink-haired man chirped, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "I feel fine! Sorry to worry you about before, Yuki. I'm really OK now!" Shindou stood up, smile wide, but eyes dull. "So, I better get going, huh? I didn't want to wo—"

            "Knock it off!!"

            The singer gasped and fell back on the bed in shock from the sudden outburst. He stared up at Eiri, violet eyes wide and scared. The blonde was glaring back vehemently.

            "Just _stop_," Eiri hissed dangerously. "Stop acting like everything's OK when it's not." He clenched his jaw against the tightening in his chest. _No, I promised myself I wouldn't do this… Wouldn't get any further involved…_

            "Yuki…" Shindou began slowly, a worried tone lacing his voice. He stood shakily. "Really… It's fine…"

            "Shut up, you idiot." Eiri inhaled, his lungs quivering. He took a hesitant step forward, landing himself toe to toe with his younger lover. "Don't smile when you don't really feel like smiling… It makes me sick."

            "Yuki, I…" Shindou's mouth hung open, as if he had more to say, more to refute, but no words came. He watched Eiri with wide eyes for a moment longer and then finally slumped. He sighed heavily and hung his head. "I just… don't want you mad at me… I don't want you to hate me… or tell me to get out… or… or…"

            "Shhh…" The novelist reached his arms out and slipped them possessively around the smaller man. Eiri pulled the singer close to his chest and buried his face in strawberry hair. "You don't have to worry about that anymore…" Eiri looked out to the wall just beyond the bed, glaring at it harshly, though his voice remained soft. He tried to calm the throbbing of his heart as Shindou snuggled closer. "I'm never going to tell you to get out or to leave… never again, Shu…" Eiri's arms around the boy tightened and his forehead creased in determination.

            Shindou sniffed and rubbed his cheek against the writer's shoulder, causing his skin to tingle. "Oh, Yuki…" he moaned softly.

            "Because…" The blonde's fingers curled around the fabric of Shindou's shirt. "Because _I'll _be the one to leave _you_."

            The vocalist jerked back in his older lover's embrace. His eyes seared into Eiri's own. Iris pupils swam with horror and a broken disillusioned hope. He clung desperately to Eiri's shirt so deeply that Shindou's nails marred the flesh beneath. The writer could visibly see the trembling breaths the boy took and knew the feeling all too well.

            "You'll go to sleep," the blonde continued, trying to keep his face cool and his heart calm, "and when you wake up I'll be gone."

            "Yuki, don't!!" Shindou cried, tugging on the grip he had on Eiri's shirt. "Oh please, don't do this!! Why?! Why are you doing this, Yuki?!"

            "Because I can't be around you anymore." The undeniable truth of his statement scared Eiri more then he expected it would. _For both our sakes, Shu-chan…_

            The tears were forming now; desperate tears that swelled in violet eyes, threatening to overspill. Eiri felt his gut clench. How he hated it when Shindou cried… Even though he had seen the boy wail numerous times it didn't make it hurt any less. Knowing that he was the cause of those tears made the guilt deepen.

            "Yuki…" Shindou pleaded softly, "please…"

            "Shhh…" Eiri leaned down and brushed his lips tenderly against his lover's own. "You won't have to worry anymore…"

            The singer continued to whimper in protest even as Eiri hushed him with quite words and soft kisses. Eiri held the boy up when he felt Shindou's knees give way to gentle caresses and stabbing, albeit shushed, words. The novelist's lips kissed away the salty tears that now ran down the younger man's flushed cheeks. Eiri could feel the heat of the suppressed sobs on Shindou's skin and heard the murmured choking sounds in the back of the boy's throat. The blonde pressed his mouth against the pink-haired man's ear and whispered a demand for the singer to "let go". Shindou broke down at those two words.

            Eiri laid the clinging, sobbing singer down on the bed he only just recently left. The writer brushed his fingers across Shindou's forehead, pushing away misplaced waves of pink hair. The younger man pulled at Eiri's shirt, crying out for him not to go. Eiri's stone face never wavered.

            "I'll stay until you fall asleep," were the last words that passed the novelist's lips, and what he surmised to be that last words the two men would ever share.

**Author's Notes: **Now, in case you forgot, this is the TRUE ending to "Sweet Love". You may be thinking "No! She's going to leave the ending at that?! What happened to the usually sap she writes where everyone lives happily ever after?!". And for those of you who may be thinking that (or something along those lines), don't fret!! After this I'm going to start another chapter to the "Sweet Nothings" collection (I'm not sure what it will be yet), just to get a break from this angstiness… And then I will write "Sweet Persistence" (Thank you for that title, Aira-sama!!) which will be sort of a continuation of  "Sweet Love". It's going to be the story when Shindou dresses as Ayaka to steal Eiri back from his parent's house. And we all love cross-dressing Shindou! XD (Aira-sama's original idea for the title was  "Sweet Drag Queen" – I love her). So, look forward to it, okee dokee?! XD (The next chapter will probably be some what of a comedy. I plan on starting it this week once I get an idea.)

Read and Review, please.


	4. Sweet Actions

**Author's notes**: Weee!! New chappie!! This title is ALSO from Aira-sama who said, when complimenting me (ah, shameless self-promotion) " [You write with] not just useless adjectives/descriptions etc. ACTIONS! Sweet Actions..XD" She didn't even realize it at first when she said it. But I did. XD And we were both like "yey!!" So now I am sitting here, listening to Gravitation music, which no idea for a plot. All I know is that I have a title and a lot of energy. I shall write as I go… Maybe a storyline will form, hehe. Wish me luck! XD

(Note: This chapter is rated PG-13 for STRONG sexual content, and some f-word cussing, ^_^)

**_Sweet Nothings_**

**_Chapter 4:_**

**_Sweet Actions_**

            Eiri leaned back in his plush leather chair and rubbed a hand across his forehead. He propped his legs up on the desk in front of him, crossing his ankles. The hand scrubbing against his throbbing head slipped down to cover one eye and Eiri's other hand mirrored the action. He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes to rid himself of the bursts of color he kept seeing from lack of sleep. The action only proved to worsen the annoying array of fireworks.

            Eiri groaned softly and threw his head back to stare unseeingly at the ceiling. The almost inaudible buzzing of his laptop seemed like a horde of bees in his ears. He sighed heavily and furrowed his brow, straining to see something beyond the plaster ceiling before him, something that would give him inspiration. Unfortunately Eiri lacked the X-ray vision that he so longed for and only managed to make his throbbing migraine become more profound.

            Swinging himself back up into a sitting position, the blonde novelist stared in determination at the laptop screen before him. The file for his most recent story was open and waiting for his expert fingers to just type away, but no words came. The only thing that stared back at Eiri was a working title and a blinking cursor. He frowned heavily. Where the hell had all his inspiration gone?

            When Eiri had first began his career as a professional novelist he remembered constantly worrying about situations such as these. He was younger and had a fresher mind that was just bursting with ideas, but still the nagging thought of losing those ideas came. He remembered thinking, after his third book had been published, what would happen if one day he woke up and he were out of ideas? What if he had written all the thoughts that were to ever cross his mind and could never think of a new story again? What if Lady Luck just up and abandoned him, leaving him speechless?

            If Eiri had been reminded of that time a mere two months ago he would have scoffed and said it would never happen. Now however, with the truth of the matter pounding against his skull, he realized that it wasn't all that crazy of a notion.

            _A writer that lacked words.___

            Sighing, Eiri leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He hung his head and closed his eyes, trying to imagine _something_that could spark an idea. The working title of his story flashed in his mind. Eiri was sure he wasn't going to actually use that name for his newest book, but merely wrote it down in order to help him brainstorm. It wasn't working.

            _'Actions Speak Louder than Words'_the novelist thought bitterly, over and over again in his mind. It was a ridiculously ordinary title, with no spice, and no intrigue. His frown deepened. But in the hopes that some idea might grace his fingertips, Eiri kept running those words over and over again in his head.

            His ears perked at the flash of something behind his eyelids. His brow furrowed when the image disappeared just as quickly as it came.

            _Concentrate, Eiri…_he reminded himself roughly. He sucked in a deep breath and tensed his jaw. _Just think…_

            Another image flashed, but it was too fast to catch. This was torture…

            _Wait… wait…_Eiri's eyebrows rose in surprise. There was something there… A shadowy outline, but something none-the-less. It was a person… Eiri clenched his fists and closed his eyes tighter. No, it was two people… A taller man and…

            "YUKI!"

            Eiri's eyes snapped wide.

            "I'm home!!"

            The writer mentally grumbled something and pulled himself up straight. He gritted his teeth and, in his head, cursed all the gods he could name. Just when the ideas were beckoning to him the brat had to come home!

            "Hey, Yuki – are you here?"

            The voice of one Shindou Shuichi grew closer as, Eiri presumed, the boy made his way down the hall. He sighed in resignation and stood from his seat. He opened his mouth to call out to the hyperactive singer, but was cut off as the boy poked his pink-haired head into the office.

            "Oh, there you are!" Shindou chirped, padding into the carpeted room. He leaned up on his toes and pecked Eiri on the lips. "You're so mean. You're supposed to say 'Welcome home' when I come back."

            Eiri recalled the first time, all those months ago, when Shindou had first said that. It was the first day that the vocalist had moved in with the uptight author, and the boy was very upset when Eiri didn't welcome him back. It took some getting accustomed to since the blonde wasn't used to answering to anyone. Eventually it became natural, however. So, why hadn't he said it today?

            Eiri parted his lips to apologize, but Shindou began talking first.

            "Were you working?" the boy asked playfully, brushing past Eiri. He flopped down in the writer's seat, causing Eiri's mouth to hang open in protest. "Didn't you just finish a story a few days ago, Yuki?" Shindou asked, turning his attention to the laptop screen. "They sure work you hard, huh?" He blinked. "All you have is a title…"

            Eiri passed the boy a 'you-think-I-don't-know-that?" look. Shindou blushed under the scrutiny. He giggled nervously and stood from the seat.

            "That's OK, Yuki. You work too much anyway." The pink-haired man reached his arms up to slip them around Eiri's neck. He pressed his lips against the author's own. "Speaking of work, though…" Shindou sunk back down to his usual height and let his arms fall from his lover. "I need to go work on some lyrics." He walked by Eiri and out into the hallway, waving over his shoulder. "Just call me if you need me, sweetie!" With that he trotted down the hall and out of Eiri's sight.

            The novelist sighed heavily and sunk into his chair. He raked a hand through his golden hair and pursed his lips into a thin line. His eyes hesitantly slid over to the laptop's threatening blinking screen. He felt his stomach sink.

            _Maybe if I just get the same train of thought from before Shu-chan came home…_

            With a burst of determination Eiri positioned himself in the same way as before, elbows on his knees, head hung, eyes closed. He took a slow, cleansing breath, and let it out even slower. The title played over in his mind, just like before. He stared at the back of his eyelids, trying to remain cool and calm. Getting upset wasn't going to help speed things along at all. In fact, it would probably only make his migraine worse…

            Eiri sucked in a quick breath as the same image as before overcame the black abyss of his mind's eye. He bit nervously on his bottom lip. There it was, those two people… But they were still just silhouettes! It was too hard to tell who they were, or what they would become…

            Eiri scrunched his eyes closed, trying to sharpen the image. It was coming clearer now… It looked like two men, either that or a girl with a very flat chest. They were facing each other and—

            Eiri nearly cried out in surprise when all his thoughts were abruptly cut short by the sudden tenor of Shindou Shuichi's voice ringing throughout the apartment.

            "Let me go, seven days! Yuuutsu ni karamatte/ Let me go, seven days! Te mo ashi mo denai…" the boy sang masterly. Eiri felt himself twitch.

            Throwing himself from his chair, the thoroughly annoyed novelist stormed out of his office and into the living room where Shindou continued signing the jingle to one of his songs.

            "Shinpai nai, nayamu koto nai, dandeii ga sakadachi shiteru… Eh, oh, Yuki…" The vocalist sat up right from his place on the floor. He grinned lopsidedly at one Uesugi Eiri. Eiri leaned against the archway that connected the hall to the living room, a scowl on his face. "What's up?" Eiri continued to glare. Shindou blinked. He watched his blonde lover for a moment longer when sudden realization hit him. "Oooh, was I disturbing you??"

            Eiri opened his mouth to snap back "Gee, you _think_?!", but found that no words came. His eyes widened. He tried again, but still nothing came.

            Not noticing the lack of words that Eiri seemed to posses, Shindou continued. "Sorry, I'll sing softer, OK?" He gave the blonde his best flirty smile, which, in any other circumstance, would have melted Eiri right then and there. However, he was currently stuck on the fact that he seemed to not be able to speak…

            Eiri's lips were forming words, but his voice box refused to cooperate. He stared out at his pink-haired lover with wide amber eyes as he brought a shaky hand up to his throat. Shindou blinked.

            "Hey, Yuki…" The younger man stood slowly, a worried expression dawning his features. "Did you…?"

            The novelist was frozen. _I… lost my voice?!_he cried mentally. _No way! How the hell did that happen?!_His brow slowly furrowed.

            Shindou was in front of him now, the boy's hands on Eiri's chest. Violet eyes swam with worry, staring into surprised and aggravated golden ones. "Hey, Yuki…" Shindou puckered his lips in thought. "Nod once if you lost your voice," he demanded. Whether he was joking or not, Eiri didn't know.

            Eiri's eyes hardened into a cool bronze color. He gave the singer a "you-have-to-be-kidding-me" look. It was all Shindou needed to burst into a small fit of giggles. Eiri, however, found no amusement in the situation what-so-ever.

            The novelist, not quite fully catching on with the fact that he couldn't speak, attempted to yell at the singer. Shindou, grasping the full potential of this situation, began to laugh harder.

            "You can't yell at me anymore!!" he cried through his mirth. He was doubled over, one hand clutching his stomach, the other pointing at Eiri and waving frantically. "This is priceless!!" Shindou gasped for air, paused for a moment, and then began laughing even harder. "You can't tell at me!" he repeated gleefully.

            Eiri growled as best he could and formed his hand into a fist. He banged down harshly on the top of Shindou's bent head, causing the boy to cry out and immediately stop laughing. The pink-head swung up. Shindou was staring at Eiri in a hybrid of a glare and a pout, rubbing at his offended head. The novelist smirked, knowing that he still had _something_going for him. He brushed past the whining singer and collapsed on the couch.

            "That hurt, you know," Shindou whimpered, gingerly fingering the sore spot.

            _You deserved it._Eiri frowned.

            He didn't like this, not one bit. Now, not only couldn't he yell at the brat, he couldn't make any comments at all! No witty comebacks, no stabbing one-liners, no _nothing!_

            "Aw, Yuki," Shindou cooed, walking over to his slumped lover, "don't worry, baby." Eiri felt his heart skip slightly at the term of affection. Gods, how he loved it when Shindou purred little nicknames like that… "I'm here for you, Yuki. I'll call the doctor, OK?" Eiri blushed when the singer wrapped his arms around his head and pulled him to rest against the boy's stomach. "I'm sure you're voice will come back soon."

            Even after all this time of being with Shindou Shuichi, Eiri was still unsure how to handle situations like these. Usually, if the vocalist was to hold him tenderly, Eiri would stay there in the warm embrace, but would snap out some cold comment. What was he supposed to do now? He couldn't say anything, and if he stayed like this then Shindou would think into it too much…

            _'Actions Speak Louder than Words'…_Eiri flushed. If that was true, then all the previous times when the two of them had cuddled, despite the writer's words, Shindou had always accepted it as endearment. _Well,_the blonde thought, _so did I… but still…_

            In the time it had taken Eiri to decide what his next movement would be, Shindou was already loosening his hold on the older man. The singer stepped back, leaving Eiri feeling cold and vulnerable. He tensed and tried to put the aloof façade back on.

            "I'll go call now, OK, sweetie?" the vocalist called, sauntering off to the phone in the kitchen. Eiri's cool golden eyes followed the boy the whole time.

            The novelist continued watching for a moment while Shindou looked through a draw for the business card of the doctor. Eventually Eiri turned away and rested his head on the back of the couch. He closed his eyes and exhaled softly.

            Eiri groaned mentally at the irony of the whole situation. He wondered if his mind knew he had lost his voice before he had even tried to speak. After all, the idea for his title must have come somewhere, right? He clucked his tongue and heard Shindou giggle softly and the only sound the author seemed to be able to make.

            _So,_his mind sighed, continuing with his internal monologue, _if actions speak louder then words, and I'm all out of words, then… then what?_He opened his eyes slowly, hoping that maybe something around him would help jog his thought process. His eyes landed on a certain pink-haired singer who was currently talking into the phone, one finger twirling the telephone cord. Eiri chewed thoughtfully on the inside of his cheek. _Then, maybe…_

            It was a long shot, sure, especially with Shindou's bouts of obliviousness, but Eiri felt daring. The thought had been eating away at him for a while now, but he could never sum up enough courage to actually say it. What better time then now? If actions truly did speak louder then words, then Shindou would get the picture, right?

            _Only one way to find out, I suppose…_

            Pushing himself up from the couch, Eiri strode somewhat nervously over to the chatting singer. The action caught Shindou's eye. The boy flashed Eiri a sweet smile and wiggled his fingers in a small wave, never stopping in his story to the doctor on phone. Eiri's heart swelled.

            _Just the simplest actions get me going…_Eiri exhaled sharply through his nose in a form of amusement. _Guess actions really _do_speak louder then words…_

            "Hey, Yuki," Shindou began, never taking his violet eyes off the older man, "the doctor wants to know how long your voice has been gone." Shindou paused. "Make a hand motion." Eiri sighed and pointed to the ground repeatedly. "Just now?" the singer questioned, not one to do well in charades. Eiri nodded. "Just now," he repeated into the phone.

            Swallowing whatever pride the novelist had left he took an unsure step forward and slipped his arms around Shindou. The boy blushed wonderfully, causing Eiri to smirk. The younger man smiled shyly up at his lover and then turned his attention back to the phone in slight embarrassment. Eiri's smirk widened to an all out grin. This was going to be so easy…

            "Yuki, the doc wants to know if you woke up with your voice like this." Shindou's eyes swung over to Eiri to see what the older man's response would be. The blonde shrugged his shoulders and then pulled Shindou closer, brushing his lips against the singer's temple. "H-he said he doesn't know," the boy stuttered as Eiri left a trail of hot kisses down the younger man's jaw. "He hadn't needed to speak, so…" He cut himself off and sucked in a breath when Eiri began nibbling on the junction between Shindou's neck and shoulder.

            _Hell, this isn't too hard…_Eiri's eyebrows creased. _But he might think I'm just trying to get him in bed…_

            "Y-yuki," Shindou started once more. Eiri realized the vocalist had begun to calm down to the sudden caresses. He frowned. "Does your throat or anything hurt at all? Or did you do any yelling a lot last night?" The writer mouthed the word 'no' against the younger man's neck, causing Shindou to shiver. "He says no," the pink-haired man continued.

            _Dammit__, Shu-chan! Get off the fricken phone!_

            "Does it hurt when you try to talk, Yuki?"

            Eiri sighed and pulled back. He shook his head, frowning.

_            Don't you see I'm trying to be romantic?! Christ!_

            "Do you feel anything odd?"

            Another shake of the head.

            _The one time I actually try to be loving, and the bitch won't stop asking questions…!_

Shindou paused. "What's that?" he asked into the phone. He sighed and turned back to an annoyed Eiri. "The doctor says he doesn't know what's wrong… Oh—", his ears perked, obviously listening to the man on the other line, "Yuki, is your throat red?"

            Eiri shrugged.

            _Wait… this could be productive…_

            "Here, let me check for you, doctor."

            Eiri smirked.

            _Perfect._

            "Open your mouth, sweetie," Shindou ordered kindly, curling his fingers under the blonde's chin. Eiri obliged all too willingly. "Put down your tongue," the singer continued. He slipped one finger in the writer's mouth and pressed down on Eiri's tongue. "Hmm, it doesn't look red, doctor…"

            Shindou was about to pull his hand away when Eiri's lips caught the finger between his lips. The younger man visibly tensed and all color flushed to his face. The blonde flicked his tongue along the length of Shindou's finger and then pulled back, leaving the boy flustered. Eiri smiled genuinely at the reaction.

            Shindou quickly snapped his hand back and put it over the mouthpiece of the phone. "Yuki!" he hissed threateningly. He removed his hand and turned back to the phone conversation at hand. "What do you suggest he do?" He shot Eiri a dangerous glare when he saw the older man approaching.

            _Trust me, babe, you're gonna love it…_

            Eiri caught Shindou's free wrist and yanked the boy towards him. The younger man nearly cried out but, much to Eiri's dismay, managed to catch himself in time. The novelist smiled and held Shindou close, nuzzling his face affectionately in the singer's pink hair.

            "O-OK, doctor… I understand…" Shindou sighed softly as Eiri began rubbing his one hand gently down the younger man's back. "Thanks. I'll call you again if anything happens… B-bye…" Eiri brushed his lips tenderly over Shindou's flushed cheek and the vocalist hung up the phone. "Dammit, Yuki, you moron…!" he whimpered softly.

            _Hey, now… _Eiri growled mentally. He opened his mouth to bite back some derogatory comment, but was reminded of his silent predicament. He frowned. _This sucks…_

            Shindou giggled at his lover's antics. "Dummy…" the boy purred softly. "Not when I'm on the phone…" Eiri raised an eyebrow. "The doctor said to gargle with salt water, and that I should call him back tomorrow morning and report to him if you've gotten any better... Ah, Yuki…!" Eiri grinned at the luscious moan he managed to receive from his lover just by nibbling on the boy's bottom lip. Shindou gasped softly as the older man continued to drag his teeth along the singer's full lips. "So…" he breathed heavily, arching his back just the slightest, "I'm gathering this is your way of telling me you want sex…?"

            Eiri froze.

            _Shit. No, dammit, that's _not_what I was going for! _he groaned mentally. _Ugh, why do you have to be so oblivious?!_

            Eiri pulled back in order to stare Shindou fully in the eyes. He shook his head, golden eyes hard, yet loving.

            Shindou flushed. "No?" He blinked. "What is it then?"

            Eiri growled as best he could and was grateful that the singer caught it. _Christ, can't I just show some affection?!_

            "Are you OK, baby?" The younger man reached a hand up to slide under the writer's bangs. He frowned. "You don't have a fever…"

            Eiri rolled his eyes. _Forget it. _ He pulled back and trudged over to the couch. _ I don't have enough energy for this…_He flopped down and pulled his pack of cigarettes from his shirt breast pocket.

            "Hey, Yuki…" Shindou followed his lover to the couch. "What is it? What's wrong?" Eiri shot the boy a glare. The vocalist sunk back. "You want me to get you a piece of paper to write on?"

            Eiri busied himself by fishing for his lighter, completely ignoring his confused lover. Shindou pouted and pressed his hands down on his hips. The blonde felt the younger man's expectant gaze on him, but Eiri never flinched. He lit his cigarette and took a slow, deliberate drag. He saw out of the corner of his eye Shindou's pout deepen. The writer turned his head in the singer's direction and blew smoke from his mouth. The boy blinked, face slowly turning into anger.

            "You don't have to be so mean, you know!"

            _You don't have to be so ignorant…_

"I thought since you didn't have a voice that maybe you'd be a bit nicer to me…"

            Eiri tensed. _Wha__-wait a second! I was _trying_to be nice!!_

            "I guess it's just your nature, huh, Yuki?" Shindou laughed nervously and pushed himself up on the kitchen counter. Eiri faltered slightly. Was that a twinge of bitterness he heard in the boy's voice?

            Eiri frowned and tapped his cigarette on the coffee table, letting the ash fall off. He stood from the couch and let the cancer-stick hang from his lips. He crossed over to Shindou, something he couldn't quite place eating away at his stomach. Shindou's eyes caught his and the singer smiled slightly.

            Eiri pulled the cigarette from his lips after taking one last drag. He put it out on the counter beside Shindou. Leaning down, he pressed his lips softly against the pink-haired man's forehead. Shindou's smile widened. Eiri mouth the word "sorry" on the vocalist's cheek as the blonde laid a trail of kisses all over Shindou's face. Eiri could feel the younger man's blush against his lips.

            "Don't apologize…" Shindou whispered, bringing his arms up to wrap around Eiri's neck. "It's not like you." Eiri felt a small smile tug at his lips as he slipped his arms around the boy's waist. "You make me nervous when you act like this…" Shindou continued.

            Eiri raised a curious eyebrow and pulled back from the shower of kisses he was giving the singer. _What the hell does he mean by that?_

            Catching the silent question, Shindou grinned sweetly. "When you're sweet like this… it's… _uncommon_, you know? And it makes me nervous…" Shindou tilted his head down and stared up at Eiri through his lashes. "I feel like something's wrong when you act like this…" He visibly tensed and swung his head back up. "But, that doesn't mean I don't like it!" he cried defensively. "I do! I _love_it when you're nice to me! It… makes me feel really… _needed_… Like I actually mean something to you… so, I guess that's why I get nervous about it… because I don't know how to handle such endearments…" The singer's voice trailed off to a silent hush at the end.

            Eiri's chest felt tight and his heart was ramming dangerously against his ribcage like that of a caged bird. He wasn't sure whether he should be appalled that the boy wasn't used to receiving affection from his lover, or if he should be touched that Shindou appreciated all of Eiri's rare moments of affection.

            _But they're a bit too rare, I fear…_

            "But, you know…" the younger man began again in a low voice, "I'm kind of glad that you're not too warm and fuzzy all the time…"

            Eiri's ears perked. _What?_

            "Because that way," Shindou chirped, his eyes sparkling, "when you _do_act sweet it's that much more charming!" His fingers slipped through Eiri's golden hair. "It makes my heart pound." The younger man giggled softly. "Although, you could afford to show you care just a _little_bit more…" Eiri felt his lips spread in an all too charismatic smile. "After all, baby," Shindou leaned up and brushed his lips teasingly across his lover's, "actions speak louder then words, right?"

            Eiri blinked. _The little minx is using my title against me!!_

            "Does that mean you wouldn't want me to ever tell you that I love you?"

            Eiri and Shindou froze, eyes wide, mouth's agape. They stood there for a few seconds, both too shocked to think straight, far as say something. Shindou, however, was the first one to recover.

            "Yuki!!" the boy squealed, clinging onto Eiri's shirt, "you… _talked_!!" His cheeks reddened. "You… you said…"

            Eiri was blushing furiously. He pulled away from the boy, eyes still wide. _What in inopportune time for my voice to come back!! Dammit!!_Eiri cursed under his breath and backed away slowly.

            "I-I…" he stuttered, hands flying out defensively, "I didn't think my voice would work…"

            "It's pretty… _unusual,_huh?" Shindou smiled meekly. "We're you faking, Yuki?" he cooed, taking a playful step forward.

            "No!!" Eiri cried, shaking his head rapidly. "I… forget what I said!"

            Shindou pouted and stopped in his advance. "But… you said…"

            The writer looked away in embarrassment and reached up a hand to cover his mouth. "I know damn well what I said…" he managed out hoarsely.

            "Did you mean it…?" Shindou whispered softly, voice laced with a saddened hope.

            Eiri's ears picked up on the undertone and he slid his eyes over to meet Shindou's violet own which were swimming in a mix of emotions. The blonde's gut clenched painfully.

            _Shit… Now, what the hell am I supposed to say to that?!_Eiri blinked. _Wait a minute…_

            Smiling warmly, the novelist closed the distance between the two men. Shindou adverted his eyes to stare down at his toes. Eiri felt his heart skip a beat as he reached a hand out to rest his palm against the singer's cheek. He gently guided Shindou's face up so they could make eye contact. The novelist dipped his head down and pressed full lips to the younger man's mouth. The latter whimpered softly.

            Eiri's free arm wrapped possessively about Shindou's lithe waist and the hand that was on the vocalist's cheek slipped back to thread through pink hair. The writer kissed the singer over and over again, changing the amount of pressure he applied each time, knowing exactly which ones made the younger man tick. Shindou's arms circled around Eiri's neck to pull him down further. The author's tongue probed softly at Shindou's lips, begging for entrance, which it was quickly granted. Eiri groaned almost inaudibly in the back of his throat as he bent over, with the other man to him gently but passionately. Shindou happily obliged to arching his back up to meet his lover's position. Eiri's tongue rubbed over all the spots that made the pink-haired man squirm, and Shindou managed to do the exact same to the older man. Steadily losing composure, Eiri decided to regain his controlling rank by raking his teeth across Shindou's bottom lip. The reaction the blonde received was better than he had hoped.

            Shindou's back arched further, his hips pressing tantalizingly against Eiri's own, causing both of them to groan. The younger man tossed his head to the side and had to cling to Eiri for support, who was quickly dragged down. The singer landed with his back on the counter and the writer hovering over him temptingly.

            "Does that… answer your question…?" Eiri managed out between ragged breaths. He relished in the sensation of Shindou's own sharp breaths washing over the older man's face.

            Shindou nodded weakly. "I-I think so…"

            "Good."

            As Eiri leaned in to continue with the foreplay they both greatly enjoyed, the vision of the same two people from when he was trying to write his story came to mind. The image was clearer now, and he could tell exactly who the two men were. He smiled and pressed his lips to Shindou's again.

            _Maybe I have some inspiration after all…_

**Author's Notes: **It's funny… Cuz I just wrote whatever popped into my head, and before I knew it, I actually had a plot going… OK, so it's not all that plausible, but I just needed an angst-break! o_O; I find it ironic how Eiri was writing with only a title, and so was I. I didn't even realize that until I re-read the story to edit it, XD

A note to Rosa Aquafire, one of the most wonderful people I know: I remember you made a comment that you usually didn't like it when Eiri tells Shuichi that he loves the brat, but that I pull it off nicely. XD I was thinking about you as I wrote that whole last part. Hehehe.

Oh, and review.

Please? ;_;


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